littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,131
Page 121 of 206
j20 in idea barrages
1.) Whenever you hear an “alt-right” “MRA” “PUA” douche-nozzle call himself an “Alpha” imagine him as that dumb robot from Power Rangers. 2.) We are, like, a week away from Trump getting confused...
#hipsterbooks in idea barrages
1.) The Vapes of Wrath 2.) Zen and Artisanal Motorcycle Maintenance 3.) The Brothers Mumfordrozoff 4.) A Craft Brewery Grows In Brooklyn 5.) John Milton’s Paradise Gentrified 6.) Ironic Remembr...
719 in idea barrages
1.) When hipsters call their ware “small batch” do they realize that is also slang for “tiny sex parts”? 2.) When you’ve got one piece of pottery firing and a second waiting its turn, is that you...
718 in idea barrages
1.) Your album of Madonna EDM remixes will be called “Justify My Wub”. 2.) Only tonight did I realize how great a mash-up of Zep’s “Immigrant Song” and the Dr. Who theme would be. 3.) Salvador Da...
july 17 in idea barrages
1.) On a cosmic scale, all tattoos are temporary. 2.) Cobra’s hypnotist Dr. Mindbender is the evil twin to G.I. Joe’s marriage counselor Dr. Bindmender. 3.) All us old guys on our laptops/all you...
the ides of july in idea barrages
1.) An alien studying our culture assumes that a marriage license is a license to hunt the married and hilarity ensues. 2.) A lesbian clown purchases a clone so she can eat herself silly. 3.) Pop...
july 15 in idea barrages
1.) My question about the teevee show GOTHAM is… when are they gonna finally get the ham? 2.) Don’t be too hard on the Kool-Aid Man, he’s been going through a lot of things lately. 3.) The Bluths...
the millions in poetry
yes a million monkeys with a million typewriters would eventually write a Shakespeare folio but you’d need a million good editors to actually find it you’d need a million proofreaders to actua...
Just because your prayers got answered doesn’t mean you’ll get the answer you were hoping for. Just because your wishes got granted doesn’t mean you’ll get they’ll turn out how you p...
this dog and I in poetry
Twenty thousand years ago when I was a hunter-gatherer and this half-poodle half-something was a grey wolf at my side our neuroses made us alert and better hunters and kept us alive wh...
july14 in idea barrages
1.) If you go to a disco in Krakow, are you Pole dancing? 2.) Twenty thousand years ago, when I was a hunter and this dog-thing was a grey wolf at my side, our neuroses made us alert and better h...
julyxiii in idea barrages
1.) LinkedIn was just a scam by the resume-editing industry to make you feel bad about your resume. 2.) Yes, “Watchmen” predicted America and Russia unifying after a horrific fraud but our ending...
julyxii in idea barrages
1.) Compassion is the only thing. If you don’t see how helping each other is more important than avarice or ideology, I dunno what to tell you. 2.) Mumm-Ra always told me not to look into the Eye...
julyxi in idea barrages
1.) Your combination sandwich shoppe/fetish wear outlet will be called DOMS SUBS. 2.) Oh dentist, brace thyself. 3.) At some point, a person who makes custom shoes for celebrities got to say “The...
julyx in idea barrages
1.) If you’ve got a telescope on your warship, you’re really just naval gazing. 2.) A really good name for a bakery that not enough people would get would be The Hedonic Breadmill. 3.) Whenever a...
july9 in idea barrages
1.) Here’s something I am going to grumpy-old-man about: I miss when department stores had lunch counters, goddammit. 2.) Of course the neo-Nazis don’t want to be publicly called neo-Nazis. They’...
july8 in idea barrages
1.) The phrase “Elks Lodge” sounds a lot more like “Elk Slodge” when spoken outloud and I want it to be A Thing. 2.) If there are sub-reddits about submissives, submarine ships & submarine sa...
julyseven in idea barrages
1.) Idea: a horror-host show that takes place in an abandoned video store. Maybe during/after the apocalypse? Or maybe a vampire lives there. Maybe whenever the host gets viewer mail saying it is...
the downside in poetry
the downside to living in a porno movie is you can never get your plumbing fixed or actually get a pizza delievered to you it always just ends up as sex your cable’s always on the fritz yo...
julysix in idea barrages
1.) If you’re being hired to be a ranger at Grand Canyon National Park, aren’t you technically getting a Rim job? 2.) Your line of purposely-awful ports of Nintendo 64 games to the Commodore 64 w...
The stars look down at us humans and think “Animals that can talk, this is the most amazing thing ever.” “They blink in and out of life so quickly, it’s like they twinkle.” “They’re so small an...
to the tune of ENTER SANDMAN in song parodies
look at that little mutt drag around his butt ‘til the floor has a rut something’s wrong, deep within something’s happ-en-in’ but he doesn’t know what barking out in horror clutching...
born on date in poetry
I want an Interdependence Day holiday where we loudly celebrate how we’re all in this together and need to help each other. May this day be the beginning of our second independence from a b...
to the tune of LADY MADONNA in song parodies
lately Madonna sounds like she’s British was she cursed by some sort of Celtic witch? that don’t just happen travelling the world didn’t talk like that on Material Girl Friday night she...
julyfive in idea barrages
1.) The stars look down at the humans and think “Animals that can talk, this is the most amazing thing ever!” 2.) Yes, putting the wings on an air conditioner is NON-COMPLEX but it sure ain’t eas...
