littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,131
Page 120 of 206
to the tune of JESUS LOVES ME in song parodies
Grievous loves me, this I know his four lasers tell me so though he wheezes, he’s real strong I doubt he could sing this song Grievous loves me, this I know Jedi are his ch...
a4 in idea barrages
1.) Once in a great while, I’ll catch the real me in a mirror for a moment, then he’s gone. 2.) If your Scooby Doo porn parody isn’t called “Screw Me Do” just give up as a pornographer and become...
#MakeTVShowsCanadian in idea barrages
1.) The Eh Team 2.) CKRP in Manitoba 3.) Magnum P.E.I. 4.) In Living Colour 5.) The 125935 Dollar Pyramid 6.) Don’t Trust The Very Pleasant Woman In Apartment 23 7.) Toqued By An Angel 8.) The...
cynical thinking in poetry
after years of studies in canine linguistics I have determined that the standard bark translates to “I am a dog!” but they can mean “I am a dog!” like fifteen different ways to a dog the...
the exchange rate in poetry
we pay top dollar for gold get cash for your gift cards we buy we sell and we trade federally licensed firearms dealer trade in well-meant old gifts and buy a gun, turn their love into guns ...
adirondack animal land in poetry
maybe the Gloversville petting zoo would be doing better if the main talking point of their billboards wasn’t “CASH ONLY, NO CREDIT OR DEBIT” it’s a bad look DON’T EXPECT WELL FED GIRAFFES, th...
it’s not that people women or men or people outside of those categories or people who live in-between those categories it’s not that we’re attracted to assholes per se it’s that people tend...
invisible touch in poetry
to lose touch with reality you must have first once had it if you were always afloat awash in a sea of privilege luxury yes-men comfort wealth if you never needed to know how much milk or b...
texas-style in poetry
Whenever I hear the phrase “Texas-Style Barbeque” I admit to imagining the meat being electrocuted in the tiniest most adorable individual chairs. I imagine the hot dog waiting for a call from ...
the hot date in poetry
words on a page like love letters are wonders to cherish and save but those words in performance? ah heavens that’s the hot date beside you next morning early after meeting up with yo...
a more standard barrage in idea barrages
1.) Whenever I see The Intercept bitch about Trump, I want to grab them and shake them “You helped make this, you smug bastards!” 2.) I’m thick, therefore I am. 3.) This set of nightmares involve...
the first decent barrage in a while in idea barrages
1.) Whenever I hear the phrase “Texas-Style Barbeque” I admit to imagining the meat being electrocuted in tiny individual chairs. 2.) A horrifying combination of cheese and green tea called “matc...
august 1 in idea barrages
1.) Maybe the Gloversville petting zoo would be doing better if the main point of their billboards wasn’t “CASH ONLY, NO CREDIT OR DEBIT”. 2.) AGNOSTICS AREN’T SURE IF THEY DID IT AT ALL. 3.) In ...
july capstone in idea barrages
1.) Whenever I see a house with both an American flag and a Confederate flag out, I just wanna yell “PICK A SIDE” at them. 2.) Control internet message boards and chat rooms from time to time but...
j30 in idea barrages
1.) Name your band “Leonard Skinner” and have a song named “Reverb” to mess with That Guy at every goddamned song. 2.) I’M THE BEST… AROUND… SOMEHOW THINGS MANAGE TO KEEP ME DOWN 3.) Rest well, K...
july 29 in idea barrages
1.) A cuckold’s a guy who could have sex but gets off more on watching. An “MRA” is a disgusting sexist no woman would look at twice so he sits around on Reddit making fun of women and men with a...
j28 in idea barrages
1.) Not sex, not graduation, not religious rite, the moment you realize the crust’s the best part of the bread is the day you are an adult. 2.) How do you fix a Zip drive? With a compression band...
the news of the day in poetry
if there is any good news anymore if we are to look for silver linings in the cracks between the madness and the hate the corruption and the lies the persecution and hypocrisy here’s the go...
j27 in idea barrages
1.) The next time someone mentions anal lube, ask them “you mean like lube for obsessively precise tasks?” 2.) It’s not that we were put specific places for a reason. It’s… here we are, wherever ...
j26 in idea barrages
1.) Your Kidzbop covers of EDM will be called “Bounce House”. 2.) When two vloggers have a crossover, are they getting their youtubes tied? 3.) Pronounce the word “Douche” as one pronounces “Touc...
j25 in idea barrages
1.) A flag with a snake in a gimp mask and the phrase “Please Tread On Me, I’m Into It”. 2.) It’s a dating service where you only match with Crispin Glover. It’s called Crispin Mingle. It’s less ...
j23 in idea barrages
1.) The one upside to the airlines not giving us food anymore is that we’re at the end of hacky jokes about airplane food. 2.) If I could rap and people remembered Snow, a parody of “Informer” ab...
j22 in idea barrages
1.) The hipster zombie refused to eat anyone from more than 100 miles away, a strident localvore. 2.) Has there already been a movie about a werewolf on the police force called Lobocop or am I th...
j21 in idea barrages
1.) Here’s the thing, Trump isn’t confessing his crimes out of idiocy, it’s out of the belief no one will meaningfully challenge him. He’s a goddamn Bond villain. 2.) No one actually likes Vegemi...
New Text Document in poetry
all us old guys on our laptops all you young kids on your phones all together in this cafe or some other writing into the Twitter box bitching about how much we feel alone look up look up ...
