littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,128
Page 11 of 206
nv26 in idea barrages
There’s probably, right now, a dude in England who sleeps around a lot nicknamed Randy Travis who doesn’t even know that there was a mediocre country singer in America who came by the name hone...
nv24 in idea barrages
Of course that conman on the History Channel thinks everything is aliens. He’s clearly one of the bird people from Babylon 5. A dating site where women can meet the emotionally-unavailable r...
nv22 in idea barrages
“Aim for the moon, even if you fail, you’ll still hit the stars” feels like victim blaming. We should be able to aim for, like, just a little bit down the street and be okay. This culture of Ac...
nv20 in idea barrages
Whenever someone shares a photo of one of their ancestors looking fine from the distant past, always reply “building a time machine so I can be your great / grand / mother / father”. It’s alway...
nv18 in idea barrages
You shouldn’t feel guilty about the step-backs you need to make socially, to protect yourself, to maintain your energy. You can’t help everyone. If you wear down completely or you wreck your ow...
prompt: yarn, title: here's the proof in idea barrages
It shouldn’t be a beer, he thought, certainly not macro-brew swill from a third-rate Scottish label. It should’ve been a vodka martini, procured from only highest-shelf stocks, mixed to his pecu...
nv 16 in idea barrages
In Soviet telephone company, party-line uses YOU. “The only preparation my generation had for 9/11 was Star Wars The Phantom Menace,” she asserted, “not in magnitude, but in a general sense o...
nv 14 in idea barrages
A high-risk sort of stunt artist. An Easel Knievel, if you will. I fear most people would rather be rich & famous for rubbish than largely unheralded but doing good work. I fear it’s the ...
nv 12 in idea barrages
A Beastie Boys parody about space garbagemen called “Intergalactic Sanitary”. LESS VIRTUAL REALITY, MORE VICTUAL REALITY. I like to imagine what New Bay Seasoning tasted like, when they bri...
nv 10 in idea barrages
A detective novel about a crime-solving bartender called “First-Degree Muddler”. 2 Olive 2 Gardenous: When You’re Here, You’re Family A sitcom about the collapsing housing market called REA...
prompt: gang, title: crash course in misc. flash fiction
I’ve taken two driving tests in my life and passed both by the exact minimum. A slim point each time. At twenty-two, just out of school, I barely scraped through the New York exam. I couldn’t aff...
never quite escaping in poetry
i find myself perpetually stalked by this doughy gruesome monster following me everywhere day and night all hours and all seasons but he is nothing if not a veritably wily grotesque I’...
nv8 in idea barrages
I’m not much of a hockey person, really, but every time I see a warm weather city team advance in the NHL playoffs, my heart knows this is wrong and should not happen. The idea of “a good hur...
nv6 in idea barrages
Perfect is boring. The little imperfections let the glory of the art or the person shine. Perfect things aren’t meant for here, may your works and your loves be bodhisattvas with just enough be...
nv4 in idea barrages
If your go-to seduction technique is making her laugh, that’s just funnilingus. Why did they roll with the neologism “bussy” when it was so obvious to run with the word “broaca”? There’s a ...
nov2 in idea barrages
Today I realized that Jimmy Fallon would be a perfect partner for Batman in defeating the Joker, as what with the always laughing at nothing to begin with, he would be immune to the Joker Gas. ...
prompt: shade, title: the mystery of faith in misc. flash fiction
I was sitting at the High-Catholic funeral for the grandfather of two of my oldest dearest friends, thinking how much he would’ve appreciated the rituals. The singing, the incense, all the milita...
bonus barrage in idea barrages
If you’re gluten intolerant, it’s likely you’re also fettuccine afraido. In Seinfeld, they so easily have called “the airing of grievances” in Festivus “the bitching hour” instead. Pretendi...
to the tune of THAT'S AMORE - "That's Giada" in song parodies
when the girl on the screen mispronounces cuisine that’s Giada when the thing on teevee calls “gnocchi” GNAY-OH-CHIIIII that’s Giada she will sound like-a-...
A parody of LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out” about Conan the Barbarian starting with the line “Don’t call it a Crom back / I’ve no tongue for prayers”. Sometimes the ancient gods would h...
oct 28 in idea barrages
Write a book called “How To Hunt Porch Pirates” so that people can order it from Amazon, leave it on their porches for the thieves so that when they open the stolen mail, they get the fear of G...
oct 26 in idea barrages
Why call it “drunken master fighting” when you can call it “brew-jitsu”? Gingivitis is actually an STD from going down on too many redheads. No, the WEIRDEST distant sequel to a Madonna fil...
prompt: bob, title: be kind, rewind in misc. flash fiction
When I was just a teen, back in the Nineties, video stores shadowed the firmaments, swarmed in great thundering waves, much as the buffalo teemed the American prairie before Columbus came along a...
oct 24 in idea barrages
Panera should totally take the name “Bread Broth and Beyond” now, before some venture capital company takes over Bed Bath and Beyond’s zombie IP to sue people for doing stuff like that. The m...
oct 22 in idea barrages
Why say “occasional diarrhea” when you can say “shittermittent”? Whenever a website begs me to remove my adblocker, it’s like a really sleazy dude begging to not wear a condom. Like, I know ...
