Entries 5,131

Page 109 of 206

1.) No one’s exclusively introverted or extroverted, we’re all some of one and some of the other. We’re all bioverted, really, false binaries fail us once again, as usual. 2.) facebook memories, ...

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Kool-Aid Flavours Could Also Be Sex Toys: The Great Blue-Dini Purplesaurus Rex Slammin’ Strawberry Oh-Yeah Orange Pineapple Shaking Starfruit Man-o-Mangoberry Cherry Cracker Grape Tan...

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the sharp cut of her wit in an equal proportion to the softness of her lips in an equal proportion to the lush curve of her hips then a million other things I hope to yet discover still ...

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1.) Say whatcha will about spending 25 years suppressing my anger into sadness so that I wasn’t overwhelmed with rage, yeah yeah, we could write books about the few pros and many cons of my ad-ho...

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you have to give the devil this much: unlike Almighty God, he is humble enough to cut you a deal and do it in person oh, sure, of course, yes he’ll fuck you over hard but at least he w...

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1.) I’ll let the dog think he protected me from that snowplow he barked at for five minutes. “Oh yeah, Ollie, you totally scared off the monster.” 2.) Y’know, maybe it’s just me but I’ve lost my ...

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1.) Not enough people would get my joke about a vast government conspiracy of over-priced make-up stores called “MK-Ulta”. 2.) If you have to defend yourself from the Gestapo that ICE has become ...

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1.) The bastards have you buffaloed, worrying on what’s possible, what’s in line with your ideological tribe, even what’s real. None of those matter in the long run. What matters is what’s humane...

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1.) Ain’t nobody buying my pitch about two sweetly-dumb serial killers bumbling their way across the country in DAHM AND DAHMER. 2.) More like the Dow Jones COMBUSTIBLE Average, AMIRITE? 3.) Your...

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they tell you that you won’t always be asking yourself if this is actually a nightmare asking yourself if you’re actually just in hell every couple of hours they tell you that those feeling...

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1.) The difference between “the greatest” and “just good enough” is all style points. Empty ego puffery. Do your thing. Don’t worry about being “the best” or “perfect”, that’s for suckers. Get yo...

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1.) I always watched Agents of SHIELD with my pop. I thought “oh God, at nine, I can’t miss it.” I didn’t forget him, I didn’t forget our tradition. I did, however, in my grief forget what day it...

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So, yeah, my dad, the best father and husband in the world, passed away from a heart attack in Los Angeles early Wednesday morning. My brother was holding him in his arms, there was little pain, ...

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His future mother-in-law called him “Jimmy”, even though his given name was James Sheng and nearly everyone since junior high just called him “Jim”. Qingzhao’s mother was a tiny tanned tin tyrant...

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1.) Do you think I sing “Smooth Criminal” to my mom’s dog? Of course I do. OLLIE ARE YOU OKAY, ARE YOU OKAY, ARE YOU OKAY OLLIE 2.) State of the Union? Jesus Christ, let’s be serious, if I was fo...

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1.) So there’s this document going around, proof that there are long-established forces opposed to the way the Trump junta “governs”. It’s called The Constitution. I’m sure they’ll say John Hanco...

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Might be missing from here for a while because I’m trying to figure out if I’m either replacing or repairing my borked laptop. If it’s the rare situation where you know me best through here b...

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1.) I still say the maple syrup production term “sugaring off” sounds dirty as hell. 2.) I really really really hope that the problem with my mom’s computer was a botched Windows 10 update that I...

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1.) I’ve never once in my life been motivated by negative reinforcement. I’ll never understand those people. Doing something to “prove someone wrong” is the farthest idea from my mindset ever. “Y...

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1.) The hardest night of every diet is the next night. It not only never gets easier, it gets very slightly harder every single day. For the rest of my life, I guess? I’m sure quitting smoking is...

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if you find people berating you to be a decent human being within mixed company it’s not “political correctness gone wild” it’s not “don’t be a sensitive child” it’s not “social justice run...

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1.) They needed someone to come in and save their human resources department from itself. Their own personnel Jesus, if you will. 2.) The problem with Access is that fans elevated to very minor c...

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they say that God gave moles their digging claws and since God matches advantage to equal flaws that high-and-mighty bastard stole away with their eyes they say there always has to be a t...

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1.) If you estimate that your business was established during Eastern Standard Time, do you write “EST EST EST” on the door? 2.) The New Testament is actually called “Testament 2: His First Assig...

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She was reticent to talk about it with her family or her friends but she knew she’d have to break it off with him. They’d met when he was working the bird desk at the biggest pet store in the are...

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