Timmy™ ⋅ 41 ⋅
My name is Timmy™, formerly authorcode C104458 on OD. (Successor to A624512) Jersey born and raised, currently living in an OK state. I like cheese, feminism, bad puns, pegging, and Star Trek. Some entries are filtered. Don't be shy. I only bite if we have a safeword in place.
How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer.
Entries 985
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Plot Resolutions in Star Trek Movies. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.
Motion Picture (V’ger): V’ger needs to merge with his creator. Wrath of Khan (Khan): Shoot at it, then have Spock sacrifice himself. Search for Spock (Klingons): Shoot at it, blow up your own ...
Little Things that would make me Squee if they were in Star Trek 14. in The Napkin.
-Kirk going through some elaborate scheme, and then ultimately just using a simple double-axe chop to disable someone. -A running gag in subsequent movies as far as why Chekov isn’t there. Shore...
I think I just witnessed child abuse. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.
I was waiting patiently behind a woman at a Subway. She seemed distracted while ordering, perhaps because of the earbuds she had in her ears. Then her little kid just happens to run by, and acc...
Talk about Excitement. in The Napkin.
When you get your first full erection in weeks. Fuck you, meds. (So glad I tapered off or I may have been indefinitely impotent. That’ll fuck with your psyché.)
Things I liked about Star Trek Beyond. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.
All the Leonard Nimoy feels. If Star Treks 1 and 11 were about a big evil thing approaching Earth, and 2 and 12 were about Khan, then 3 and 13 were definitely about the death of Spock Prime. ...
Roxanne and the Red Lights. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.
Actually, it was Kelly Quark that had the right lights, but I couldn’t resist the title. I spied a DRAM led flashing red once, but more importantly there were two red LEDs on her video card that...
I really should buy earplugs. in The Napkin.
Goddamned birds woke me up at 5 am. I was at the end of an epic dream, so I couldn’t fall back asleep. Boooo. I’m tired but awake. But I’m always tired in the morning now, so that’s life. I didn’...
The Ethical Troll. in The Napkin.
Have I mentioned this tendency towards social media being oversaturated with world current events? There, I just did. And it annoys the crap out of me. I respect the right for people to post w...
Who wears short shorts. in The Napkin.
A chick at my gym, apparently. I’ve already written about how wedgies and melvins are in vogue. And that’s cool. Dress however you feel comfortable. You do you. Just. Um. Excuse me, ma’am,...
How to Buttsecks. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.
Materials Required:A phallic device for penetration. (Ex: a penis capable of a sturdy erection, a trusty strap-on, a feeldoe, etc.) A consenting anus. One does not simply engage buttsecks with...
Don't Think About It. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.
I remember the last time I thought I was actually happy. I was working two jobs, going to school full time, holding down a relationship and a social life. I was BUSY. After any required activi...
Why I Missed/Love Clarissa Clutch. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.
Or, “Where Timmy takes an Elitist attitude against Automatic Transmission.” So, my dad and I visited my sister this week. I like my sister, but am indifferent to spending time around him. Still...
Cardboard. in The Napkin.
And another thing I missed the assembly on: spaghetti. I don’t know how to eat it. I try the twirl method, and I either get too much or too little. I’ve also been told it’s rude to bite and drop ...
Good Morning. in The Napkin.
I missed the assembly on body wash. I’m a life-long bar user, and am always baffled by how one operates body wash. It’s.. lather in a tube? But I use the bar via scrubbing my Timmyparts to bu...
A Female in the Weiner Room. in The Napkin.
There was a “female cleaning” sign affixed near the men’s locker room. I suppose there are some who would be all OH NOEZ, A GIRL SAW MY WEINER*, but my first thoughts were this: A: I’d rather h...
Mood, stop that. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.
I’m part-Scientist, so I have a theory on why I was so depressed yesterday and this morning. Initially, I thought it was because yesterday was a Planned Rest Day™. (You know, to avoid lifting t...
Gym Nuances. in The Napkin.
I tend to feel bad when someone asks me if they can have the squat rack after me, or asks how many sets I have left. I got to the gym around 7:30, entirely so I could hog the squat rack for half...
Overheard by the Squat Rack. in The Napkin.
Girl #1: "Fucking boobsweat." Girl #2: "I know, right?" Girl #1 to Guy in their trio: "Sorry yours aren't big enough." I love people who have frank discussions in public. Or Francene discuss...
I grunt at you. in The Napkin.
While muted, I spied this ad while I was treadmilling. (Crunch Fitness, if you must know.) Once again, this feels like someone making fun of Planet Fitness. It wouldn’t take that much to take ...
Flaming Liberals Unite. in The Napkin.
When you discover your new shrink has basically the same political stances as you do. Right down to being able to make the “nominate Ted Cruz to SCOTUS and you’ll have eight vacancies” joke and ...
Anti-Depressant Hypoxia. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.
Whenever someone suggests yoga to deal with depression, I know immediately they have absolutely no fucking idea what they’re talking about. No secret I’m a gymrat. Obviously I feel it helps me d...
Bernie "The Birdie" Balboa. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.
Okay, seriously media that I couldn’t avoid because it was cardio day at the gym? HILLARY HAS NOT CLINCHED THE NOMINATION. She has 2184 pledged delegates, with 2382 needed to win. She has the ...
Kira says hi. in The Napkin.
Okay, maybe she doesn’t. But I can say hi!
Melvin-Free Wares. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.
We all know the rule in the gym about not staring at people. Heck, since I’m attracted to girls, more often I find myself idly watching guys lift. I have this bizarre logic that since I’m a dud...
Anuswater. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.
I used to not really understand people who would shower after being in a pool. It’s a pool. It’s water. Even the little chlorine now and then isn’t a huge deal. And even if it’s dirty water, ...
