worn out in Second 1st

Even though i still want to be awake and productive.... and feel like there are 10,000 things that need done and I’m the only one who can do them. I have to remember to be kind to myself today.

Yesterday was the absolute worst day since I’ve been back to work (October). … back up....

So Thursday we were supposed to go get Rocky’s car .... we had dropped it off Monday and he said he’d be able to get it done… Rocky’s had a pretty bad oil leak… and we thought it had been leaking into his anti-freeze. This caused his thermostat to get all gunky and stuck so that his engine would over heat going from home to work (like 6 miles MAX). It was not ready :( so Rocky made plans to take the van all weekend. Problem is the vans headlights suck and you rally can’t see much in the side mirrors (somethings we need to fix, but we only drive it for pallet stuff ).

Woke up Friday morning, still felt crappy from drinking… slight headache threatening a migraine.... snowing pretty hard… i didn’t want Rocky to have to drive the van and if I called out he’d only have to drive it 2 days. … checked my PTO hours.... 40!… so I called out. Rocky’s work has a hotline for sever weather situations so I kept checking it up until I had to make a decision.... then when Rocky got up… He also decided not to go to work.

Later in the the day we got a text to come get the car.... and got the education we knew we’d get with our car guy. Apparently, someone mixed anti-freeze types they gelled and that was the issue. He told/showed us what all he replaced and flushed. We paid $1024 out of the emergency fund and will replace that when taxes come in. That’s done though… and cheaper than getting another car we would likely have to fix.... his car is 98% now. I say 98% because his heat/air is still kinda a thing. He’s got heat till it gets warm and we will switch it over and he’ll have air… won’t have both … but we can deal with that.

I don’t recall what I did Friday other than a nap. I never nap it’s a HUGE time waste.... well I can’t say never because I’m sure I did while I was off. i have learned that I can just lay still for about 15 mins (playing on my phone or something) to calm the dizzy when it gets a bit much without napping so I don’t really nap. Friday it just seemed completely unavoidable. Rocky played video games ALL day… except for when we went to Lowe’s and bought a hand cart (dolly) for pallet stuff.

Saturday, Jerry had me training for Parts loader. The guy I worked with seemed particularly lazy.... it is a job in which you really can’t stand around… but when you have 2 people it’s no big deal. I kinda already knew what I was doing so we split the job down the middle right away so honestly him not doing stuff really didn’t bother me too much.

Yesterday Jerry put me on that job by myself..... I felt like such a failure.... and I wasn’t… not at all but I felt like it....

So it started out great… all the way to first break I don’t think I really got/needed any help.... but after that whoa.... it was a struggle. Tina and Amanda helped a ton… followed by Faith and David.... honestly if they all hadn’t done something I wouldn’t have made it. I was getting dizzy as it was rushing around.... luckily I had the opportunity to talk to Jerry about it because he decided i was a good candidate for a job observation. On a light day I leave there with 11,000+/- steps.... on a busy day I leave with 15,000 steps.... last night I left there with 22.500 and begging my legs not to give when I needed them most. I had a few audible pain sounds on my way to bed last night … there was no one here to hear them.... my feet are not happy about being in my shoes today.... they will get passed it when they start realizing that I’ll probably get like 5,000 steps MAX today lol

Plans for today.... I have a meet at 10 for a transport chair we got on a pallet, after that I’ll be pushing Rocky to bring things in because he didn’t last week… not too many things though… 5 a day to be cleaned up before William and Nicole come over Wednesday. I need to do laundry and dishes as usual.... I have 1 package to go out that I have yet to dig out of inventory.... I want to redo my nails… all goes well we will hit a store today too because I need more daytime meds.... and kleenex/cough drops sound good too. I have a cold (which didn’t help the difficulty level of work yesterday).