Thoughts from the Morning in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

Last night’s dreams were… steamy… and unsatisfying.

Obviously I’ve been a bit “randy”. I’m trying to focus on being productive, getting work done, being independent. Hell, when I got home last night- first thing I did was laundry and the dishes, then lint rolled my suit jacket, and did some routine computer updates. All very “get regular maintenance things done.” And since it is unlikely for Martha and I to have sex (both because of her mostly absent libido and my attempts to behave myself) and I have been busying myself to the point where I haven’t the time to take care of my own needs… these things express themselves in dreams. But… it is still me.

So, for example, last night’s randy dream: I was making out with a woman. She had Martha’s legs but larger breasts… like “shelf cleavage” and as I was kissing up and down her body, she kept complaining (as Martha often did) that she hates when I have “any amount of facial hair at all” because it makes things so uncomfortable. So I would stop and apologize for being “rough faced” but then mystery woman would say, “But you look so much better with any amount of facial hair. So don’t shave it.” So I sat there thinking… okay… you don’t want me to shave but you don’t want to make out with me unless I’m clean shaven. And then I woke up. And I thought… no, yeah. That sounds like my marriage! Obstacle, but she’d prefer life WITH the obstacle, so if I get rid of the obstacle… she isn’t happy; and if I don’t get rid of the obstacle… she isn’t happy. YUP… familiar feeling!!

Then I got up, showered, did my hair… and as I was looking in the mirror, a thought occurred. Clearly there are dozens of reasons why women fare better on Dating Apps. But one that hit me this morning? Frequency and quality of photos should be obvious. Now, this may be different for the men under 30, but for me and the men I know my age?? Especially compared to the women I know my age? I’ve seen women make sure to get a photo when their friend looks good, or when they are all out having fun, or just because friends got together so let’s get a picture. I’ve rarely if ever seen men do the same. Men aren’t even allowed to say when their friend looks good (which I say bullshit to that), and I’ve never seen a group of guys say, “This is so much fun, we’ve got to take a picture!” No, pictures usually tie to special events, embarrassing moments, or highlights of trips. So while many women can look through many photos of them having a good time, looking cute, or doing something they love.... guys typically look through photos and realize, “Shit. There’s the one where I’m drunk at Steve’s. The one where I’m best man at Dave’s wedding. Or the one where my Dad snapped that shitty photo at my graduation. Fuck, I’ll just take an awkward selfie!” Now… I’m not saying that this is universally true. But it is certainly true of myself and many of the men and women I know. Another reason why… as the weather warms up, I hope to re-engage with hanging out with friends more (and being cognizant to get photos of me having a good time). Hopefully, photos of happiness, joy, and life might increase my “re-sale” value. When Martha moves out, I’ll do a whole big entry about how I’m using Dating Apps, which ones I like, and the obvious issues that put me in the “no response” category. But, obviously, I’m not going to give that a lot of thought until she leaves. As to when that might be?? Well, I’m dedicating the end of this week and this weekend to REALLY focusing on the paperwork elements. Quit Claim Deed, Car Title, “surprising her” with an Apartment Walk Through… really getting some of this shit taken care of so that March 1st… she may only be able to say, “Okay, everything is taken care of. But do I really have to leave?” To which, then, yes. I’d say absolutely. If everything is taken care of and the only thing “preventing forward movement” is simply Martha’s desire to remain? Then I’ll get tough.

BRIEF POLITICAL STATEMENT
The Trump impeachment results are not surprising but they are infuriating. We heard on the Sunday Morning Shows last weekend several Republicans say things to the affect of “I do believe Trump broke the law. I do believe his conduct is unbecoming to the office of the Presidency. But I will vote to acquit because it is an election year.” In other words… the same tired bullshit illegal ass justification they gave to refuse a hearing on Merrick Garland. IN OTHER WORDS, in 2016 and 2020… the Republicans have said CLEARLY (not implied, outright SAID) that they will refuse to follow the law in an election year for political reasons. Democrat or Republican… if you are an AMERICAN that should piss you off. Because now, it isn’t about our Government following and maintaining law (as they are tasked to do)… our government is STRICTLY about grabbing as much power and money as possible. Which is a shitty, shitty, shitty place to have your government. And the fact that people won’t STOP that process means (honestly) we fucking deserve it. If you see someone say, “I refuse to follow the law. I want power. Power is more important than Law.” AND YOU STILL VOTE FOR THEM? Yeah, you deserve the fucked up world you’ve created for yourself. BUT THE PROBLEM IS… people AREN’T voting for them. They rigged the system through bullshit gerrymandering whereby a majority of Americans can vote one way, but the results go the opposite way. This is unsurprising but upsetting as fuck. Remember in 2001 after the 9/11 attacks when America joined hands and said “We will not be afraid, we will be strong, we will be united” because we knew that terrorism is about creating policy change through fear? Well… if our government refuses to follow the law due to fear of an individual… that individual is a terrorist who is controlling our government through fear. So yeah. You heard me say that right. If Trump is “ruling through fear” and “controlling the government out of fear”… he is a terrorist.
BRIEF POLITICAL STATEMENT OVER

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! This is… RAGE EXPLOSION EXTREME… ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! I mean… I get it. I get it I get it I get it I get it I get it I get it I get it I get it. In a perfect world, a citizen could call the police and say, “I’m upset with my husband and he’s become violent. Could you put him in the drunk tank until he sobers up” and the police would do it. But then IN A PERFECT WORLD people wouldn’t hit each other and ESPECIALLY wouldn’t hit the people they claim to care about!!!
I talk a lot about this lady so I might as well give her a bloody pseudonym. Medea from Greek Classics. Anyway, Medea has a long history of getting beaten up by her husband and then viciously attacking the prosecutors who are trying to actually hold him accountable for his violence. This woman has two daughters, which really pisses me off because she’s essentially showing her daughters that this type of behavior is acceptable. This is the woman who claimed her husband was going to kill her. SO… it gets lots of press, lots of our officers got involved, this is a big deal. This is the woman who sends me an e-mail EVERY DAY demanding that I dismiss the case and demanding that I “do my job” because she “made everything up!” Well… I can’t just dismiss this case. The paper has made a HUGE deal out of this. YOUR OWN FAMILY has made a huge deal out of this because they genuinely believe your husband WILL KILL YOU. So, even though I don’t have a case without a complaining witness… I can’t just dismiss this case because you want me to. And cyber shouting at me every day doesn’t help your case, it just pisses me off. So what is essentially likely is that I will have to take this case to trial. A trial I know I can’t win. So that I can put up the 911 call. So that the jury can hear this woman explain that her husband hit her and racked a gun as she fled with her children. And then Defense can put on the victim herself to say that her husband never hit her and she never saw a gun so (her exact words) she may have just heard him open a beer can. And then the jury gets to decide. Do you believe a 911 call? Or do you believe the woman who made the 911 call now saying that none of that ever happened and she’s just really angry at her husband but even more furious with the County Attorney’s Office who refused to dismiss this case despite telling them every day that they needed to dismiss this case. It will essentially be a jury trial of “911 Call versus Actual Victim Testimony”. Which is frustrating because EVERY TRIAL we do, means something else doesn’t get a trial. So putting this on trial? Means now that maybe I don’t get to go to trial on a Child Molester. Or a Meth Dealer. Or an attempted murder. Because of math. We have 8 maybe 9 trial dates left… FOR THE YEAR. Being required to go to trial on this? Costs a lot more than simply time, tax payer money, and frustration.

BAKA now I’m all… grr. Morning Dream Blue Balls… Political Frustration… Occupational Frustrations… not to mention I have a trial today where not only did the Defendant already confess, he literally RETURNED THE STOLEN GOODS TO THE POLICE. So… why are you demanding a trial?? You said you did it. You provided proof that you did it. Why are you wasting my time and the tax payers’ money?! SO… memes. Memes to soothe the savage beast, lol.

The idea that “Conservatives and Family Matters” voters suck Trump’s cock and view “paper tearing” to be the ultimate insult is, frankly, horrifying.

So, obviously… it is very clear to everyone who knows me… I’m a leg man. So no duh Ada Wong is going to be one of my favorite CosPlay characters.

Preach.

I honestly don’t usually feel this way because I’ll replay it to death. I get this way when the story isn’t great or doesn’t resolve. Like.... I spent all that time traveling and fighting to give my character a story ending or achieve something in his digital life and you… you just threw that away!

WELL.... they’re not wrong!

Kiiiiiiiiind of feel like this is a summary of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure in a way

I NEED to start responding to things this way.

Y’know… it’s true. Like… I’m ALL FOR a strong defense force. But when you contemplate that nobody spends anywhere close to what the US does on Defense and yet… we’re always bitching about spending money on Education and Healthcare… it’s like… okay. When your country is illiterate and dying of Koff Koff Puke, I’m sure you’ll be thrilled that you have a 25 Trillion Dollar Robot Army!


Gosh… sounds like somebody I know… somebody who is on TV a lot and calls everyone who doesn’t worship him a bad name… you know the guy… the one that threw a tantrum when someone called him a millionaire and screamed “I’m a billionaire, don’t you EVER get that wrong!”





Yeah, I’d say that’s pretty fucking offensive