Running Through Monday in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

First, as I hadn’t updated since: Martha’s date cancelled. So she didn’t go on a date yet after all. As far as that specific and limited interaction… I’m actually even more okay with it than I should be due to my own history in a specific fashion. You see, Martha’s boy sent her a text saying that his mother had popped by unexpectedly and that he would have to cancel. THAT HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE back in my Aoife days and Aoife never forgave me. You see, the first time I was supposed to drive to her college to hang out… my Mom was driving back from some teaching conference (that I had no idea she was going to) and stopped by a few hours before I was supposed to leave. So I informed Aoife that I couldn’t come visit because my mom stopped by unexpectedly. Aoife, whose family life was VERY different from mine, told me that she 100% did not believe that my mother would stop by without advanced warning and that if I didn’t want to come see her, I should be more honest about it. In fact, that specific thing was really the beginning of the end for us. So when Martha received a text saying “Sorry, will have to cancel. My mom stopped by unexpectedly.” And Martha just shrugged her shoulders and was all “No skin off my nose”… so… it is what it is.

That being said? I will admit a grave personal failure on my part this weekend. I had intended that it be a weekend of Prime Adulting. Massive cleaning, full bank sorting, tax returns, nature walks… all of that. I… failed. In reviewing my Prosebox History… it makes more sense than ever but I still am not happy about it. You see, apparently, this time of year is exactly when my sleep issues present themselves most prominently. Considering the disappearance of the sun, the appearance of the snow, the consistent dip of temperatures to anywhere from 28 degrees Fahrenheit to a frozen -32 degrees Fahrenheit (depending on the year)… it all certainly makes sense. So the problem is: Either all or nothing. Either I get gobs of sleep and still feel tired… or I get zero sleep and am a complete zombie. Thus making “adulting” difficult without adding extra steps (that I know I need to add, and will begin adding to be a proactive and productive person.) So I need to focus on getting more water and exercising more. And really whipping my own ass to not let Martha’s destruction of the kitchen force me to avoid it. Even if it isn’t your mess- clean it up so that you can use the kitchen to make yourself better/healthier food. YES, it may be doing extra work needlessly that she has the TIME and OPPORTUNITY to do… but ignoring it isn’t helping anyone. Time to start acting like you have a lazy roomie and being proactive in what YOU want so that you can have the life (or as close to it) that YOU want. Shake off the ire, ditch the expectations, and begin to manage your home as though Martha were a rodent that helps when she can but mostly just eats and leaves things lying around. That last sentence could actually be a fairly decent children’s book.

So… juvenile court. Exhausting. Trying to tell people “You can’t be an active methamphetamine user and raise your children.” Only to have them absolutely freak out and argue because YES THEY CAN, THOSE CHILDREN NEED THEIR MOMMY AND DADDY, GIVE ME BACK MY KIDS! And it’s like… no. You can’t have them. Honestly. You were pulled over with your children in the back seat without seatbelts while you were actively drinking alcohol and tested 113 times the limit of “mere exposure” to methamphetamine. You even told the officer that you had finished smoking meth right before driving! DHS is stepping in!
Exhausting.

Come back from court:

Domestic Violence Harasser. The one that has been violently demanding we dismiss her case. The one that is in the paper because she’s “been abused before and nobody helped.” So… THANKS LADY! Way to absolutely FUCK ME here. If I dismiss your case… I’m the PR Bad Guy because “nobody helped”. If I take your case to trial… you show up and testify that nothing happened and you TOLD THE ATTORNEY nothing happened, and I could be in trouble for calling a witness that had recanted. If I arrest her for filing a false police report… I’m back in the paper as “Bully Attorney Arrests Victim.” So… thanks. Thanks a million for being yet another person in an ever expanding line of people who can’t handle their own shit and make it everyone else’s problem. Thanks!

So, after my boss and I had to have an hour long meeting about that case… because of COURSE we did… we need to figure out what our response is going to be. Because we have a 911 call with someone calmly stating “He hit me. He is going for the guns.” And now this woman is claiming she was “just very angry and nothing happened.” SO… need to figure out what to do. Finish that meeting…

“Chris, call for you.” ANOTHER Domestic Violence case. ANOTHER woman claiming that she exaggerated the report. She was experiencing a mental breakdown due to mixing alcohol and pills and attempted to hurt herself. Her boyfriend stopped her. She called the police to say that her boyfriend had attacked her. She is now begging for me to dismiss the case. seething. You see… this is why I’m to a point where I just… fuck it. If you call and want me to dismiss the case, I want to as well. I have more important things to be doing with my time, with my career, with my life. I AM NOT YOUR RELATIONSHIP REFEREE. But if you call the police, you are INVITING THE LAW INTO YOUR ISSUE. There are consequences, people!! I am so. fucking. sick. and. tired. of women calling the police because “she and her man are drinking, they started to argue, and she wanted him out of the house!” Because… that is what I always hear the next day. The day of the phone call where the police come out there? The story is “he’s hitting me. He kicked me in the stomach. He punched me in the face. He said he was going to beat the hell out of me!” And then my police put the man in handcuffs. And the story INSTANTLY becomes “I didn’t want him arrested. I just wanted him to calm down. Can’t you just have him stay somewhere else for the night? WHY ARE YOU ARRESTING HIM?!” And then the next day, I get the phone call: “we were both just drinking and had an argument. Nothing happened. He never touched me. I even told the cops that I didn’t want him arrested.”
That. Is. Every. Domestic Abuse Case. I get. Every. Single. One. Without. Exception! And so yeah. Maybe this lady did mix her alcohol and pills and tried to hurt herself and her boyfriend tackled her to keep her from doing something. OR maybe this lady got drunk and her boyfriend drunkenly slammed his palm into her face because he was upset. I DON’T KNOW WHICH IS TRUE. And if I don’t know which is true… how would I even begin to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt when I don’t have enough to prove it to myself beyond a reasonable doubt. YET my boss wants me to stop acquiescing to these women. As a Domestic Violence Advocate myself, I get it. We have to protect these women, sometimes even from themselves. BUT SERIOUSLY? What about the rest of my docket? The children, the sex abuse, the bar fights, the traffic violations, the Domestic Violence cases that actually have photographic evidence of injury?!?!? I can’t spend my career fighting Defendants and Victims and the Public.

So… I get through that.
Horse People.

Fucking. Horse People. According to Google, the average price for owning a horse is an annual cost of around $4,000. Not terrible, in many respects. However, if you have a methamphetamine addiction or financial instability; $4,000 can be QUITE the insurmountable issue. WE NOW HAVE TWO DIFFERENT CASES.

Case 1: Lady clearly prioritizes drugs over her horses. Because she has 4 current Drug Possession Charges. And while she’s doing meth, she lets her horses run around on “whatever property is nearby”… meaning allowing her horses to literally eat the crops her neighbor is growing. So she picked up charges for that. Which meant she decided to tie the horses up when she was doing meth. Which resulted in her horses being tightly tied to a tree without food or water for three days. AND NOW this lady is threatening a whole mess of violence and pain against the animal shelter that took those horses in… because she cares so much about the horses and they are the only things she has left in the world. GOD. DAMMIT. Lady! I get it. Drugs. Bad choices. Brain fried. But seriously?! If I think it would be inappropriate to treat a cow, dog, or child like that… what in the hell makes you feel like it was okay to treat your “beloved” horses like that?!

Case 2: Lady cannot afford to stable her horses. She wisely (thank Christ!) calls someone to let them know she can’t take care of the horses and can’t figure out what to do. Friend calls the police to seize the animals before they are simply abandoned. The police take the horses to the nearby Livestock Animal Shelter. EXCEPT the original owner who cannot afford to stable her horses? Calls us. Wants to complain because she doesn’t respect the Livestock Animal Shelter for such glorious and special creatures as her horses. Wants to demand that we “re-home” the animals immediately. LADY! This is calloused as hell but just be thankful we don’t turn them into glue!

NO wonder I’m feeling so tired already today. dayum