Still alive... literally & Figuratively in General Mental Anesthesia

I would first like to thank those of you who commented on my previous entry; it was certainly a dark micro chapter in the shuddersome and harrowing novel that is my life.

I appreciate the support and it did help me get through this past week, although frighteningly, the restlessness continues…

It has not been easy and there have been other medical complications.

Two days after coming home from the hospital, I got sick; a nasty virus. I must have contracted it from my hospital stay. Nowhere is safe when you have a compromised immune system such as I.

I already had an appointment scheduled to see my Primary care, but other than taking Mucinex etc… fluids, there wasn’t much she could do.

Of course, the very next day, my tongue turned white, then my right cheek. I couldn’t eat, it hurt to swallow and talk. Two days, no food, hardly anything to drink, I had to make an appointment with urgent care. Now I had ‘Thrush”.

Ironically, this is all relevant to my ongoing battle with IBD (Ulcerative Colitis or Pancolitis) See link here for more info or how you can help:

INFO AND HOW YOU CAN HELP

An autoimmune disease like UC (particularly with my severity) inflammation travels to other parts of the body and attacks itself. It kills good bacteria causing you to get sick easily and for longer and more severely. It’s impossible to ever feel well, and it can cause infections like thrush (aka: candida).

Candida, Crohn’s, Ulcerative Colitis, and IBD share a common origin. One of the main reasons that fungal candida is related to over 100 conditions and diseases is via its ability to promote chronic inflammation in the body, and inflammation is tied to most every condition. Although fungal candida can spread throughout the body in a matter of hours during and after taking antibiotics, its effect in the digestive tract happens much more quickly, and lingers for decades.

It is the loss of microbial diversity that is associated with disease, and the re-establishment of diversity with health. The greater the levels of diversity, the greater our health.

The common factor leading to a loss of microbial diversity in humans is antibiotic use. Twenty-four researchers from Harvard, MIT, and several other Universities found that “…exposure to antibiotics increases Crohn’s-disease-associated dysbiosis“. It is the same antibiotic use that also creates fungal candida, which in turn orchestrates the composition of bacterial flora found in Crohn’s and other inflammatory digestive tract diseases.

• Taken from Candidaplan.com

This is also how c-diff develops which is lethal and that I’ve had twice.

Now, if we go back to my last post while I was in the hospital, a blood test revealed that I had a severe staff infection and I was given heavy IV antibiotics only to have my next blood test reveal that I did NOT have a staff infection and that they somehow corrupted the test. Now, I am home, I am sick as all hell and have thrush.

Thank you fucking hospital!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hospitals… the place where you go to get well.

Ever notice you never see that on a tee shirt?

Moving on.

It will take some time to switch Pain Management clinics (as I have an appt there next week) so I discussed with my Primary care the ineffectiveness of my Gabepentin 300mg. I hate putting meds in my body, especially if they don’t work. She suggested Lyrica instead. Not just because of my former meds not working, but for the first time she saw the majority of damage in my back. She went over my recent MRI results with me.

Why did it take 4 months and repeated requests to finally get my latest MRI results back? Beats the hell outta me!

In regards to healthcare, Incompetence is the currency here in North Carolina.

Now, these aren’t full results. My lower sacrum area was not imaged, but I already know that I have bulging discs at L5-S1 & S2.

Also not imaged was my upper back, neck area which I also know ‘some of the damage at my Atlas vertebrae, or C1 (the one that holds up your skull). I believe there’s more going on as I have chronic pain behind my trapezius muscle mostly on my left side. It’s excruciating at times.

So, the 2 MRI’s that I had were for the thoracic (mid-upper) back. I have severe pain here 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. I found out last year that I had several old fractures in my spine that I never knew about. Working in the film industry, carrying gear, cameras, lights, setting up and taking down etc… caused further damage / weakening. I never had health insurance so whenever I had pain, I just took 2 liquid gel Advil’s and went back to work. I had no idea of the seriousness. So to my friends in the industry, don’t do as I did if / when you have pain, it isn’t worth it!!! Get yourself to a Dr. !!!

A side note: Although I did not know at the time, I know now that this was one of the moments when I was working with a broken back. I was working at The Abyss Theatre, man, I loved working there; so much so, that I slept on the concrete floor many times just so I could work overnight, and I wasn’t getting paid, I just wanted the place to be the best it could possibly be.

So, it’s a black box theatre and for a specific show, the floor needed to look like it was a wooden floor. I didn’t know how to do it, but learned / figured it out and I taped (boxed out) wooden planks, then painted. It took 3 days, on my hands and knees, I was in so much pain! By the end, I was literally passed out on the floor, I couldn’t move because my back hurt so much. Actors started coming in for rehearsal, a few asked if I needed help getting up, but I was afraid to move so much as an inch, I was also only semi-conscious. Rehearsal began with me still on the floor.

Here are some shots of the floor before, followed by a few after I was done.

The other set of images were on the Lumber or lower back area. This is the area that on March 18, 2014 led to me dying in the hospital (twice).

As of now:

I have a wedge compression fracture of both T6 and T7
Chronic compression fractures of T11 - T12, L1 and L2

Bulging disc at L1 - L2 with spinal stenosis
Bulging disc at L2 - L3 with spinal stenosis
Bulging disc at L3 - L4 with spinal stenosis
Major Bulging disc at L4 - L5 with spinal stenosis

“Spinal Stenosis” = Narrowing of the Spinal column.

There’s also degenerative arthritis of the spine (thanks to Prednisone and some Osteoarthritis).

Looks like I need to wear my back brace again, I can’t tell you how much it hurts my ulcerative colitis. A tee shirt hurts my tummy, let alone a rigid brace with lots of pressure. Also, this brace was designed specifically for me, for broken vertebrae in my lumbar region. It may not fully cover all the damaged areas I have now. This is an $1100 back brace!!!!

Remember I mentioned “Lyrica”. Makes sense, it’s a nerve pain medication that helps with spinal cord injuries, but Medicaid will not approve it nor will it approve the generic (which costs $375). My Primary Care has said to them that I’ve been on everything else, that nothing is working in the hopes that she can get it covered, but after several days, no such luck.

Every day I suffer immeasurably.

And do you know what I dream?

All I do, all day long is dream about going back to work.

How many people can say that?

I’ve said it sooooo many times… I miss my life. I truly and dearly miss my life.