The future of my photography in Bittersweet

So im pretty good at it. Im not being full of myself. Im actually pretty good. I made a half decent living before i moved with my unique sessions. However here in the states there are a TON of extra fees. On top of my licensing and insurance. I have to pay for all these park fees, city fees state fees parking fees. It makes me wonder if its worth it to continue professionally that occupation here. I can take photos of my kids and family all i want and not need those fees… But to earn money from it. Requires some fees that otherwise i cannot afford. I would literally need clients prior to the fees. But i really love it. I mean i really love it. Im good and i really love it. I love the outfits and the dress up, the editing. I love everything but finding clients lol.
I may not do it.... Then i feel like the 5K worth of gear in my camera bag is a waste of money… I mean if things come to pass, i could sell my gear. It just makes me feel like ive finally gotten to where im getting the gear ive always dreamed of. Ive got a top of the line camera body. Ive got some amazing lenses. Ive invested THOUSANDS in classes and training. None of which help me FIND clients. In Ak i had a hook. I had a unicorn. My mini pony. Here i dont have that. Im good, But so are many others…
Is it worth it, Im already needing close to 1K worth of passes just to start… Im thinking maybe i just focus on Missy girl for a bit. Photographing the kids, maybe my sisters friends kid who plays with mine. Maybe meet some people through the homeschool group and do their kids for models to keep my practice up and evolving… Maybe when things settle ill be meeting people and ready to take on clients?

Speaking of the homeschool group, i felt SO out of place when they are talking that they just spent 14K on a bathroom remodel. Out of pocket… Im like. shit.... im so broke. Thats not me.

Sorry side track. .I should get back to spinning, Im trying to get through a hunk of this wool before my parents come back. We may be going for a drive… Its cold though. Im already adjusted to southerners cold lol. 35 and im piling on sweaters and moaning i left my couch blankets in the north.
Lame.