Sunday. in Your Face

Another Sunday. My 7th without M here. As usual, I am feeling depressed. Even if he gets a job tomorrow, I won't be leaving here until the end of October - at the very earliest. Fucking sucks. I will be so depressed if I can't be there for Thanksgiving.

I bought a pair of sneakers last week that I plan to wear when I travel. They are comfortable, and I can slip then on and off easily to go through airport security. I also got a new pair of slippers to wear around the house when I get there. I will throw out the pair I'm using now when it's time to go. I have even planned the undies I will wear the night before I leave - daggy old ones I can throw away.

All I need is a damn visa.

I am very bloated after 3 days of eating like a pig. My weight is the same, but I am bulging around my middle. Back to my walks this week.

I am currently waiting my turn to use the washing machine. I went to use it yesterday, but it was packed to overflowing with mother's clothes - her version of cleaning up is just to hide things, and this was a prime example. I have waited for her to get through 3 weeks of laundry (she is too lazy to wash every week) and now she is doing my brother's laundry. I might remind you that he is 35 years old. I'll be lucky if I can get my work clothes dry by the morning.

God, I want to get out of here so badly. Things might be just as sucky when I get to Santa Fe, but at least M and I will be together.

I am still searching for ways to get things moving. M hasn't got a job, and things are moving so slowly over there. I am going to talk to him about selling the car sooner, so he can get a car over there. If he's having problems getting out to look for work, how does he expect to get to and from a job each day? And if he is making excuses, which I think he is to a small degree, then there will be no more excuses. I can cope on the bus, I have many times before. It it means getting my ass over there sooner, it will be worth 3 buses over 2.5hrs each way to my job. It will be fucking worth it.