I hate myself for loving you in My Unpredictable Life ...

I love my job. I really, truly, honestly love my job. Which I was recently reminded of when I started working at the sister hotel.

I hate myself.

I hate myself for loving my job.

Give you three guesses what I am doing. Specifically what I am doing on my one Saturday a month I am "allowed" to have off with my family. With this Saturday being more deserving because I worked February's "allowed" Saturday off so that Tami could go visit with her family.

I so fucking hate myself.

Especially because we need the money so bad.

And I know Tami is doing this shit on purpose. Supposedly she got her weekends switched around and scheduled Jimena to work this weekend instead of next weekend. And of course Tami only schedules me three days a week, knowing I am desperate for hours. And because it is a weekend, well, we can't be asking Shelia to give up her weekend with her family. Of course not. So let's screw Sassy. Let's leave the schedule as is and call Sassy the night before saying, "You just realized the screw up and is there anyway possible that you could work," because you know Sassy will do anything for an extra day on the paycheck. Including giving up the only day a month to spend with her family. Because we can't screw Sassy if she has already worked 4 days during the week, like Shelia is allowed to do to make sure she gets the weekends off. No, lets schedule Sassy only 3 days, just to make sure that we can call her in on her one Saturday a month she is allowed to have off. Sassy The Desperate Bitch will say yes.

Fuck you, Bitch.

And fuck me, for saying yes, while we are at it.

Oh, and because I am being so kind as to cover the shift for Jimena, Jimena in turn will work Monday night for me. Even though, according to the scheduled days off Jimena needs for the month that she gave Tami back in February, Jimena did not request tonight as one of those nights she can't work. So I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that Tami offered to give her tonight off in exchange for Jimena working last Friday night when supposedly she could only work 3-8pm. That I could totally see happening.

But guess what, Jimena? Fuck you too.

I told Tami, "No thanks. I can't have a break in between the days I work because of the medicine I take, and because I feel like being a bitch, Jimena can just lose the day of pay. You want her to get back her day then you can take it from someone else. If I am giving up the only day a month you allow me to spend with my family, then I am going to make it worth it. So tell Jimena, thanks, but no thanks. I'll take her day of pay to add to my piddly 3 days."

"And while we are on the subject, you do realize that this is the 2nd month in a row you have screwed me out of the only day a month you allow me to spend with my family so that YOU can spend it with your family. You promised me every Friday off, which I have worked 7 of 11 Fridays now and then you promised me one day a month with my family, even though everyone else gets time with their family every fuckin' weekend. So this now means I will be getting 2 extra weekends next month to make up for February and March, right? After all, you made the promises and you have not held up your end of the deal."

Tami: "Well, I will work with the schedule and see what I can do. I'll make it work somehow."

"Make sure I get 3 Saturdays next month, and make sure I still get at least 3 days those weeks on the paycheck. I should not have to lose days of pay for your errors."

Yes, I was totally hateful towards her. What was she going to do? Fire me? Hell no. She needs me to work the night so that she can stay home and visit with her son & grandkids that are in town visiting (the same ones she went to stay with last month when I had to cover her shifts for her). Besides, she fires me, I can draw unemployment and as much as Bill refuses overtime and blows his gasket when one of us does reach overtime, we would be talking seizure territory if one of us was able to draw unemployment. Worse case scenario is I will get written up. Which I will refuse to sign unless Bill is present and can witness everything.

I so fucking hate myself.

Once I got The Child to stop crying about me going in to work, I was able to make her see that it really didn't change much of our day. Sure I will be dead on my feet by the time I get home from work and can crawl in bed. And the next few days will be screwed up, sleep wise, because of going without decent sleep before coming in to work. But it is what it is. For my child, I will go without sleep.

Normally I would say that this should be an interesting week. But since Tami won't show her face any of the days I am working before I am scheduled to leave (even though the schedule says she is supposed to be my relief), well, she's just taking all the fun out of it for me. I think after we hung up, and she heard just how angry I am at her, she is going to avoid me like the plague ... more than she already does. I wouldn't be surprised if Joleen goes out of her way to avoid me also. Normally she is up at the front desk by 6:15am. How much do we wanna bet I won't see her before 6:50am? I'm pretty sure I won't see her in the morning because it is technically her day off and Ruth will be in at 7am. But yeah, I can't wait to see if she also avoids me come Monday.

Have I mentioned how much I hate myself right now?

Till next time ...