Old, New, Working Through in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

I predicted last night fairly well all things being equal!
I drove home and parked the car in the garage. Opened the door, walked down the hallway, opened the door into the kitchen. Nala was happy to see me. Martha was watching Say Yes to the Dress (got that one wrong, thought she’d be watching Botched). I asked how her day was and she shrugged. I asked if she gave Nala a walk and she said no. Reviewed evidence, asked her more about her day. I pulled out the chicken from last night, selected veg, and nuked all of it. We ate in relative silence and watched The Office. I washed the plates. She started doing laundry. I went to play PS4. Came back up and went to bed. Couldn’t sleep. Martha didn’t come to bed while I was awake… and I didn’t actually fall asleep until after midnight. So I guessed some… most of it?? As we have no children, Martha has no job, and school doesn’t start for her until next week, I will say… I was a little bummed that Nala hadn’t gotten a walk… that the kitchen wasn’t clean… that I was still responsible for dinner… that Martha didn’t ask me how my day was… or greet me much at all… or interact much. True… we’re going through a separation… and true a lot of that behavior being “the default constant” is why we’re going through a separation....... but it couples to somewhat bum me out with everything else going on. AND YET… I still can’t decide honestly which could be better overall. Suck draining at work and coming home to an empty house but for the dog… or suck draining at work and coming home to the house w/Martha still being the same.

Then today? I naturally woke up at 5 a.m. I’m pretty sure it was natural and not dog related because Nala didn’t really start stirring until after I got out of bed… but as soon as I did that dog raced to the back door. Let her out, got some water and breakfast, let her back in. Decided that I wouldn’t benefit from going back to bed in an effort to try to squeeze a few more minutes of sleep, so went downstairs and played some more Borderlands and wanked. Honestly? SHOULD HAVE done burpees or a form of real and legitimate exercise. I may be eating better but there is NO WAY I’ll get under 200 pounds if I don’t up the exercise. After getting a bit further on Nekrotafeyo, I shut everything off, went upstairs, took a nice (long) hot shower, shaved, brushed teeth… all that. Left for work. Got to work 15 minutes early.

And I’ll tell you something. I feel better today. I’m more tired. I have even LESS work to do. There is no logical reason why I would feel better today emotionally. Hopefully? There isn’t some crashing fuckery that ruins it. Though it is fairly likely.