Blah in Current Events

I woke up feeling a lot better than I did yesterday. So far anyway. It was clear that I am coming down with something shortly after I wrote my last entry. I’m not going crazy. Although, I just got over a cold so this is unusual for me. I’m never sick. I burned myself out before I realized that I was getting the flu. I worked out my back, triceps & rear delts. Sick or not today is legs, glutes and abs… maybe Kegels too lol.

I had a mini panic attack yesterday evening. I’m letting myself down. I am not doing my best. I could be trying harder. I’m avoiding everything like the plague. I didn’t even look at my phone once yesterday. I haven’t even done so yet today. I’m feeling guilty about it. That I am not trying hard enough to get my shit together. For somebody who wants to join the 5am club, I sure blew it in the last two days. I woke up at 5 in the morning without my alarm but I listened to my body and went back to bed instead of getting up. My head still feels woozy a bit but I feel a lot better than I did yesterday. I have a sore throat this time around but I can deal. I want to come back to the world and to try and reconnect with all of my friends. I want to put myself out there and be fearless. I think I am ready to live out loud again.

The vivid dreams from my meds have started. They’re all relevant to my situation so far. Last night I was talking about my resume with Richard, an old manager that I used to work for. I think that I need to dumb my resume down. It screams management and I’m not even applying for management positions. I dunno. Maybe I will tackle that today. I need to get some groceries and start some meal prepping today. Then I need to throw my resume around online. I’ll feel a whole lot better after doing that. Yeah, I’ll just get to it.

*edit
Then the universe throws this at me right after I wrote this lol

Last updated January 08, 2020