What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? in Current Events

My first thought this morning was about how I am not living my life out loud. These dense energies that I am going through are getting worse… but I have faith that it is because I am learning how to get better. It’s just embarrassing what my life has become right now. It’s painful the betrayals I suffered from my last job. It’s demoralizing that nobody is responding to my resume. It’s confusing learning who I am etc. There is something Jay Shetty likes to say and I fell asleep thinking about it. “Today, I’m not what I think I am; I’m not what you think I am; I am what you think I am.” It’s about how we live in a perception of a perception of ourselves. I am not my mind and I am not my body. My ego is putting up a good fight as I learn to let it all go. I realized how I created a character for myself when I go out. I just read an article about sober January that my mother sent me and it made me realize how alcohol was such a huge part of my life. My mother sent that to me because she knows that I stopped drinking. One of the guys in that article is gay and he explained how alcohol is such a big part of the LGBT community because it is clubs and bars that we meet up at. It makes sense and he wasn’t shaming anybody or anything but it was refreshing to hear stories of people who also decided to live sober. I’ll drink if the occasion calls for it but it just doesn’t serve a real purpose in my life anymore. I’m not the person I once was and the last time that I drank it didn’t feel right. It doesn’t serve this new self that I am becoming.

I got an e-mail from Audible that I had another credit available. The Autobiography of a Yogi keeps coming up so I purchased it. It’s apparently a big deal in the community I seem to be gravitating toward. At least a big deal to the people I look up to. I’m looking forward to giving it a go. Even though my life is in chaos, in shambles even I am fully aware of the power I have to change all of that. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? That is my 2020 challenge. I’m ready to experience the stings of failing so that I no longer have to be afraid of it. Anyways, I have to get to my birthday party. I turn 34 on Monday. 34 times around the sun? I honestly feel young. Speaking of which, I saw my optometrist yesterday and apparently my eyes improved by 50%. My prescription was not that bad, to begin with, so it’s not that dramatic. Did my vegan diet fix my eyesight? All those carrots I tell ya. lol

Last updated January 04, 2020