Ghosts in A New Chapter

You know, its weird how much can change in just a year. My life is at a completely different place right now. I mean that in a good way also. This is the happiest I have been in quite some time. The lady was here for an extended period of time and everything was absolutely magical. Now its my turn to head to the snow lands and stay there for quite some time. Ill be leaving in January. I wish I still had the writing passion I did when I was a teenager that made me want to write everything as a play-by-play..but I don’t. We just had so much fun. I guess one thing that is still amazing to me..is no matter how much you try, your body just won’t work around someone you don’t trust/feel connected to. I know its a stereotype that men are horny dogs..but I can tell you that..if the mind does not want it, your body won’t want it either..no matter how hard (no pun intended) you try. The sex is not a problem here. when we are together we have sex everyday, sometimes multiple times. life with her is just perfection.
Sometimes, however, I still get this strange feeling.
You know how in movies you always have those stereotypical characters who don’t remember their past, its a vision/blur, and then they say something like “I used to have a life here!”? sometimes I kinda feel like that.
It only seems natural, we had been together for a long time, my longest relationship and we also had a dog together. The disappearance of both in less than a years time just..I don’t know, leaves a weird feeling sometimes. It was the best course of action, to end it all. Its just strange. As a good friend, Amanda, pointed out..that as sad as it is, the dog passing just shows that its the end of a chapter for real. Outside of that, it feels that a lot has changed to make the world seem like a different place.
Some of the places we used to go to have closed/gone bankrupt, events we attended are gone, out of some of the people we hung out with..some have fallen sick and are probably going to be leaving this place soon.
I am not really sure how to word it..it just almost feels like life itself is saying “that life is now gone for the best, out of that old world, a new one comes.”

Those who know me..know that while I am quite nerdy, I am not one to sink into theories about dreams, destiny, etc..but, I have never had things align in such a unique way in my life. Meeting someone that you feel 100% compatible with, things ending for good from a past flame..and your old life literally burning to the ground..including the good and the bad.

I don’t feel bad about it. I am happy. Its just a lot to digest and swallow at the same time, you know? it really leaves you thinking about this world we live in.

Last updated October 27, 2019