Today's Date in meh...

So…I am here, at 1:31 in the afternoon still in the bed. I had plans to be up early, cleaning house, washing clothes, but instead, I have on a tshirt, but nekkid underneath, listening to what sounds like the landlord doing something outside.

I really need this rest because I’ve been feeling like I’m always on the move. I don’t have the time for things, like doing nothing, or having the option to do nothing. It frazzled me to be so busy. Yet, I take it in stride and push through.

I just typed a whole bunch of stuff and messed it up. I’m a little pissed about that.

Him and I have been talking a lot in the past few weeks. I know for certain:

1) One reason we are not together is because of proximity.

2) He knows he has taken me for granted, but he has HELLA strong feelings for me.

3) When I catch him staring at me…I ask him What. He always says, Nothing. I’m just looking at you. He’s staring into my eyes. He says my eyes tell my story. They unlock things in him and hold so much.

I don’t know what to do with this. I don’t want to be that homewrecking tramp. My brother tried to justify it by saying, “You were in his life first.” I also pushed him away, which paved the way for them to be married.

We’ve written poetry to each other, he has sent me pictures of him dressed up. I took tasteful shots of myself that were very sexy (no nudes) a d sent them at his request. There are always two concurrent thoughts running through my head.

1) What the entire hell are you doing?

And

2) Oh My Lanta how I’ve missed him, this, us.

to be continued…