Manipilation in ❅journal 2019❅

A quick wiki search should me how obvious some of my “friends” where manipulating me. It’s sad on my part, I can read people rather easily but not them.

Anyway, I remember months ago I said the person who recommended I write online diaries, I found there’s. Again, I found it and I was floored…because they revealed they where lying about a lot. Then I found it funny, because they are that much of a good liar they lied in their entries. So, if they where to ever come back I’ll most definitely be having a talk with him.

Anyway, what I’m getting at is that I could be lying about this. I could be lying about my boyfriends, I could have been the manipulative one in the end. With John I could have purposely made him have that mindset per say to keep him from cheating or even wanting to. I could never had been harassed, that could all be a lie I made up for sympathy.

I could be lying about many things. It all depends on what I tell you, as I’m the only one writing here. NOW. I’m not saying I am lying, because let’s be honest my life is fucked up enough I don’t need to lie about shit. It would literally, ruin everything I have. And more. But yeah, people can lie very easily and it’s hard to tell when they aren’t. Incredibly hard so even me somebody whose incredibly empathetic can’t tell.

Yes, I am upset about how many people lie to me. And I’m proud of myself. Because I never lied back or did I? You don’t really know. Who knows. But back onto the whole manipulation thing.

Everyone manipulates, it natural. But the thing is if you actually choose to do it for your gain. It hurts to know that people saw and still see me as a means for personal gain. It’s happening, I guess I just idk. The whole “honi you’re to trusting and naive” argument comes back into my mind.