That peaceful feeling. in Bittersweet

“Hygge is effortless comfort; it has no element of performance. It is absence of all pretense and worry. The word itself may defy direct translation, but you are very familiar with the concept – trust me. Had a nice dinner with a loved one in a cozy setting? Congratulations, you just had hygge. Enjoying yourself relaxing with a good book? Hygge!”

That glorious feeling
of sitting on the couch tonight, watching a documentary from a film maker about his life swimming with sharks. Little details about the sharks. Manatees, Elephant seals. Working on this blanket im making for my husband. He gets home in 3 days haha. And how am i going to get it done? I have no earthly idea.

Tea to the side, water to the other. Peaceful music.... Kids asleep. If there was a fire it would be wonderful.... Watching waves on the screen…

Its celtic music and the forest between your toes. Although i suppose its going to be sand and watch out for that cactus here! lol. Its sitting on top of the red red rocks and breathing in the air as you marvel at how they became. Even with the city air around you. city sights. Sometimes there is just moments of bliss. Of peace....

Its the ever reaching feeling as you try hard to find peace. Find comfort. Find belonging and acceptance. Acceptance of yourself, acceptance of others. Acceptance in your skin....

Tonight its crocheting a blanket and not thinking about tomorrow. Tomorrow big things happen. Lots going on.

Its the feeling i used to get from Christmas. But i realize this year being closer to my family. That it wasnt the family that was missing. Its something else. I think what is missing is me! lol. Im missing. Since my thyroid began to act up, im missing. Ive wasted the last 4 years just going downhill… the first year wasnt so bad, I could push through it more. Now its just less and less. And even getting treatment .Yes im better some. But not all the way.

The hubby saw the doctor in AK, same one who treated me and she told him to tell me to go gluten free. But damn it the good feelings come from some damn good bread too!

Oh here is something. And this is HUGE for me… HUGE. Ive been listening to various hypnosis to quit sugar at night. And normally they dont do a heck of a lot. But last night was a new one… He talked ALL night long 8 hours. Then set off an alarm to wake you up at the end of the hypnosis. And i got up. And i didnt reach for my normal pepsi with my morning meds. I took it with water. Then i got up and was up an hour or so before it was time to get ready to go… And i grabbed a pepsi. chugged half of it then dumped it. I grabbed a tea on my way out ( yeah its sweet raspberry tea) I drank another pepsi at dinner..... Habit. Then i did drink haf a cup of soda at mcdonalds. We were doing Christmas light viewing and papa stopped so we could get ice cream. Which is redic sweet and yuck. I ate half. then had to have some fries. Then had to have a drink. It made me feel so fat and bloated. I only ate a few fries and dumped my soda. Im sitting here with water....
I know last itme i tried these. It eventaully did start making soda taste wonky and me crave it less. So every night. Im going to keep listening to this one. 8 hours of sleep is enough anyway lol. ( not really… But be if i set a timer nd start it? Or figure out a way to get it on my computer and cut off the alarm at the end of 8 hours? Gotta be a way to modify the sound file?
So why is this a big deal? Because i can easily rink 2 44 oz pepsis. Sometimes 3 in the past… Easily. Ive been working at cutting back and here i am today… I drank maybe 32 oz total… Thats a big deal :)

Anyway kids are clammoring that they want to put lotion on my back, who am i to say no to that!