I WANT TO DO IT TOO! in Questionnaires a.o.

My SO did a survey and now I’m going to do a survey. I seriously recently put several “Would you rather…” style apps on my phone because I was missing those old MySpace era journal quizzes and shit. They’re already uninstalled, but it isn’t out of my system yet.

Is your partner older or younger than you?

Older

Respectively, by how many years?

5-6, but I only have the 5 for a few months lol

Are they taller or shorter than you?

Shorter :)

What’s their favorite color?

He kind of goes here and there… I do recall him saying early on that he liked a good emerald green, though.

What’s your favorite color?

Greys and teals. Rainy day shades. I also love a good dull lavender/periwinkle and shades of slate and cornflower blues. (Sometimes I get in a marine or nautical state of mind and take a shining to navy blues, tans, and whites, or ocean blues, turquoises, and “mermaid” tones.) But constant is grey and teal.

What’s their middle name?

Kaynen Dean

What’s their favorite animal?

I know he likes tigers. Photographically, he loves to take pictures of herps (reptiles and amphibians.)

Are they really in love with you? How do you know?

He literally learned how to say “I love you” in a fictional language of my own damn creation, without any incentive from me.

Have they ever been in love other than you?

Yes, I’m sure. Likely in a much different way. Think, “there are as many religions as there are human beings,” and apply that mentality in this way: “there are as many kinds of love as there are pairs of people in the world.”

Or something like that.

Do you know how many people they have dated?

A lot more than me! (I never dated, so…)

What about you? Do you love them or are you settling?

10,000%

Also, corny as it may sound, I felt something inside me turn on like flipping a breaker the moment I saw him/interacted with him for the first time. It was the weirdest feeling, like an electrical current activated. It wasn’t one that made me “magically instantly fall in love with him.” It made me immediately realize that this was a person I wanted to pursue a relationship with, whether that was friendship or more.

Have you ever been in love with anyone but them?

Nope.

What’s their favorite sports team?

He’s not really into sports but I know he likes rugby and I know he likes New Zealand and has shown me the Maori team haka before the game and we thought that was really cool. … :)

How long have you been a couple?

Right around 7. I’m pretty sure I was 23 and I’m 30 now.

When’s your anniversary?

A day or two before Halloween. We have discussed whether it was the 28th, 29th, or 30th but frankly we’re not good with dates and are waiting for facebook to remind us or something.

When is their birthday?

May 9

How long have you known them?

A few months prior to us dating, if you count adding each other on social media.

How did you meet?

Through my mom and adding him on social media.

Do you say “I love you”?

Probably enough to gross people out.

Do you mean it?

Duh

Who said it first?

We can’t remember… I feel like it was him… but I was in such a good spiritual place when he met me that I didn’t even cuss anymore (oh how the turns have tabled on that) so I can see me having been the one to gush it forth, too.

When and how did you know it was love?

I don’t know. That initial reaction to meeting him has grown exponentially since that day and now I’d kill for him so…

Would you say that your current partner is the “love of your life”? Why? Is it because they are your only love or, if not, what makes this love different from those in your past?

Listen, he’s the only real, physical person to have ever broken my staunch “people are nasty bags of germs and oil” reaction and he didn’t even have to try. That insane magnetism has to speak for something. I’ve never been able to stomach being in close proximity or touched by people much, and yet, I can’t get enough of him. Instant kinship. I just knew. If something happens and it doesn’t work out in the future, I don’t think I’d ever “look for love” again, just be humbled and grateful that it happened.

Do you like to go out or sit at home with them?

I am like a dog in that I need to go on walks to relieve myself, but in my case, it’s stress and not urine. I either want to be in nature with him or at home. We don’t really do the whole social and dining thing, and we hate the theatre. It’s so perfect.

Can you act stupid in front of them?

It’s hard for me to act stupid even though half my thoughts are erratic and spontaneous. I have this wall of reservation that’s almost impossible to get through. That being said, I’ve been able to be much more loosened up and dumb around him than anyone else.

Do you hesitate to say or do something stupid with them?

Much less so than anyone else.

Can you be yourself around them?

100%.

Do you act different in front of them than you do with other people?

I am so much more myself. There are still things I’m not used to doing with other people around that I’m trying to get beyond, like drawing, but I was an only child, so I think it mostly has to do with that. He was so happy when I started loosening up around him and stopped trying not to fart and stuff but I bet he’s less happy with that now that I’ve cranked it up to 11.

How often do you see them?

We live together, we work together, we sleep together. He usually cameos in my dreams at night at one point or another, too.

Do they have a job?

Yes

What do they do?

Online Grocery Shopper

Do they like it?

So much more than other jobs he’s/we’ve had. It’s not perfect, but we both laugh at what our coworkers consider “stressful” versus the shit we had to deal with everywhere else.

What is your job?

Online Grocery Shopper

Prioritizing between your significant other or your career, which comes first?

SO. Careers are a joke to me. Passions? That’s different. Career? Hell no.

Are they supportive of you in your career?

I sure as hell wouldn’t consider my employment a career but if you mean my passions, he’s the most supportive and encouraging person I’ve ever met when it comes to my writing/art and science interests.

Do they talk to their exes?

Yes

Do you care?

No

Do you talk to any of your exes?

No

Do they care?

N/A although he probably wouldn’t care if I did.

Do you get jealous easily?

Nope.

Do they?

Nope.

Are you happy when you’re with them?

Duh

What would you say is the best thing about them?

That question seems so novice… like a kid showing mommy they can do basic math, and mommy smiles back and encourages them, but mommy went to college for Maths and is a physicist or something so she’s like, unable to share with the kid in the same way because they wouldn’t understand her math skills at all. It’s not something language is really meant to answer, this kind of thing just has to be felt and appreciated, not dissected for the perfect wording.

Do they make you laugh?

On the daily.

Do you make them laugh?

It makes me feel amazing when I do. I used to get in a massively better mood when I came to see him and heard him laughing in the distance before I could even see him. (He really does have the best laugh.)

Do you two live together or apart?

Together

If you live together, how are the household chores and responsibilities divvyed up?

Life’s no fun when it’s all preplanned. We wing it.

If you live separately, are you anxious about the idea of cohabitating?

N/A

Do you believe in the need for individual space or do you want to be together all the time?

Both is good. There are still a few things I feel weird about doing unless I’m alone, like blasting music without headphones or drawing from scratch. (If I have a thorough sketch down, I can ink and color while being watched, but the truly creative part, going from blank to a thing, I feel weird doing when I might be looked at.)

Who is more clingy, them or you?

Bahaha, him. I do come off more aloof and disconnected than I actually am, though.

Do you sleep better together in the same bed or separate in your own beds?

Together, although if I am restless enough that I think I may be bothering him, I don’t mind sleeping on the futon, the couch, or any carpeted surface, frankly. If the hambspeak adage “if it fits, I sits” was adapted, if I can lay, I can CRASH.

Who is the better driver?

He does have a lot of experience on me, but despite never taking a driving test or having a license, I used to drive to work on my own and I never had a bad moment. My gender specialist in Dallas (she was my second therapist) told me her philosophy was to drive “with a bubble of love around the vehicle” and despite being a foul, angry bitch at any given time of the day, I really do slip right into relaxed hippy mode when I drive thanks to her. He’s worried about me driving, but I think he’d be pleasantly surprised.

What is the best gift they have ever given you?

The confidence to be… weird and creative. I am not afraid to plumb the kookiest depths of my brain with him.

What is something you enjoy doing only with them?

Chores, hands-on projects, being within a few feet of one another, and talking for more than a few minutes.

Do you two have any insider jokes?

If a linguist shadowed us for a week documenting each inside joke or reference we made as a symbol, we’d have enough to graffiti every tomb and wall of every pyramid in egypt.

When you met them, were you looking for love?

No, I have never once in my life looked for love. I was determined that if it happened, it would happen. And (MUCH to my surprise) it did.

What was your first impression of them?

It was less impression and more an instinctive, unasked-for shifting of gears in my mind and character. “We’re gonna be something. I can tell.” ...... if we’re counting the period of time I’d only known him online. it was “wow this guy is hilarious and he seems to get my humor, too.”

Do you like his family?

Mostly. There are members that I love to death, but there is a small subset of them I can’t shake being wary of. Spiritual ideology is one thing, religion is an entirely separate beast, and I can’t ever fully drop my guard around it, but that doesn’t mean I’m hostile, just prepared for disappointment. It’s going a lot better than I feared it might when I first met everyone, though. There are still family members I haven’t met.

What about your family and them?

He knew my mom before he knew me. Everyone else we seem to share the exact same opinions of and it’s so refreshing to be able to finally vent about them to someone not related to the family unit in some way.

What seems to be others impressions of you as a couple? Does it matter to you?

Well, we are very often called by each others names, lmao. I guess we are that in tune with one another that we’re sort of one and the same. We get a chuckle out of it.

What would you do if you ever found out they cheated on you?

Accept it, face it, move forward. Life is not a game of absolutes, so I would not be closed to healing and giving it another go. If we couldn’t, and he was still open to being my friend, I would cherish that fact, as well. It would suck and it would hurt, probably more than anything in my life (and I’ve had to own up to some harrowing shit,) but if I say I love a person, that isn’t going to change no matter what kind of blow is dealt. The flavor that love comes in may change, but at heart, a genuine love doesn’t die.

…something something ‘unconditional love’ yada yada…

Do you tell them everything or do you keep secrets from them?

Completely open-book honest. Probably more-so than he wished I was after some of the shit I’ve told him.

How honest do you think they are with you?

Honest, yes. There are things he hasn’t told me or wanted to tell me, either about what he’s going through or what he’s been through, and that is alright with me. I’m not going to ask him unless it involved me, and if he still declined to tell me, I’m not going to arms about it. If it’s meant to be talked about, it’ll be talked about eventually. I don’t get a free hall pass to what’s beyond his personal privacy just for being in a relationship.

What is the biggest obstacle you have had to overcome as a couple?

Hoping he didn’t leave me when medications or lack thereof had me pretty out of my mind.

What is your favorite memory of them and why?

That’s like a question you ask when someone’s dead or something lol

Are they your best friend?

Yes.

Are you theirs?

Yep!

What have you not done together that you really want to do?

I’m going to scare the living shit out of him and say… Go to a concert.

How would you describe your “relationship goals”?

Yeah I don’t know what that is/means.

What is the best compliment they have ever given you?

That he actually truly did believe I had the potential to be something artistically and that I was one of the smartest people he’s known.

Do they make you feel loved? How?

It’s hard as hell to overpower the screaming monster in my head that’s poised to drive me insane with insecurity and depression, but he cuts right through that shit like it’s in style.

Are they a good kisser?

Not that he will every concede to it but… hell yes.

How would you describe your intimacy?

Great. Sometimes we go like a whole workweek being exhausted and then look at each other and both realize ‘damn we haven’t even hugged or been sweet or nothin for awhile!’ and pick right back up where we left off without mentioning it.

Do they listen to your words?

I mean unless I do something stupid like barrel in and start a conversation while he’s in the middle of reading or listening to something lol

He still remembers things I’ve told him about the stories I’ve written that I never would have expected him to.

Do they understand your silence?

Usually. Sometimes he’ll ask if I’m ok when I’m not brooding, just lost in thought or something. I think he’s gotten used to how anal I am about sentence structure and diction, saying the right thing at the right time as to not have it misunderstood etc. So usually if I’m asked something and I’m quiet, I’m still picking just the right words. I’ve relaxed that a bit, too. Or one of my medicines did, lmao

What is their “love language”?

Acts of service.

What is yours?

Partly acts of service, but having been around him for so long now, I’ve noticed I respond highly to words of affirmation, too. Funnily enough, he likes to gift give, but not in the Christmas sense of the phrase–more like, he can’t run to the store without picking me up a snack or a drink even if I said I was fine. I think that’s adorable.

If you could dedicate a song to them, what would it be?

I know which one it WOULDN’T be. He tried to give us a couple’s song, once, and my dumb ass remarked that the song was “simple” without realizing and totally ruined the moment. One of my all time most blatant “today I fucked up” moments to this day.

Post of picture of you two together!