It Will Get Better in Current Events

I’m officially medicated. I caved and I started my prescription last night. I’m relatable again. I don’t know how I feel today about anything. I’m not blaming the meds, it’s too soon for that. I just feel kind of shell shocked? Last week was one of the roughest weeks of the year for me. Everything fell apart. Bev saved the day and I can breathe again but I got to get a move on with my life. I’m also just getting over the flu. I felt decent enough to do a full-body workout yesterday and boy I am feeling it today. I didn’t do anything for over a week so I knew I was going to hurt today. I’m starting to like the way my body looks in the mirror. I still don’t look at my face though. I feel like such a stranger, I creep myself out. I sound like I have some dissociation and maybe I do? Almost eight months of unemployment and all that I have to show for it is a flat stomach lol.

I want to feel good today. I’ve done it before, I can just decide to feel bliss and be on a high for the rest of the day. I can feel guided and loved and whole… but I have to tap into my spiritual side and it’s been really hard to have faith these days. These times are hard and they’re making me crazy. I got to stop telling myself that I need this and that to be happy because I know I can just be happy. I think that is why I feel dirty about starting this prescription. Oh well, this situation is not permanent. This prescription doesn’t have to be permanent either. This time next year I will have made things better.