There's The Windup, and There's The Pitch 3:7 (10/23/2002) in Keeping Safe

  • March 13, 2014, 7:20 p.m.
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  • Public

Friday afternoon the retreat convened at BAMM’s training center in Redwood City. The teaching staff included one female instructor, three male instructors, and two assistants, and the class consisted of eight men of disparate backgrounds, ages, and occupations. During the meet & greet session at the beginning, I asked one of the assistants about how the male instructors avoided taking on all of the negative energy that was sure to come out when a student addressed a past trauma. However, when I tried to explain why I was curious and concerned, I was suddenly unable to do so. The assistant assured me that they all use various methods, including declining certain scenarios, to avoid being contaminated with that negative energy. For scenarios declined by one instructor, his associates are able to pick up the slack.

The first subject addressed in the course was the establishment of a “safe zone”: whatever happened on the mat stayed on the mat; any questions, no matter the content or relevance, would be addressed as completely as possible; and whatever emotions or viewpoints presented themselves would be welcomed and validated. Additionally, use would be made of a box of Kleenex as a talking stick - not only for the express “no interruption” purpose offered by a talking stick, but also to emphasize the importance and safety of sharing innermost feelings and concerns. Due to my desire to protect the sanctity of this safe zone, I will avoid details on all participants’ experiences in this seminar, save those of my own.

We began Friday night with observing and practicing some basic moves, at very slow speed with no physical contact. The male instructors were attired in basic gym clothes, and mimed the reactions that would occur to those moves in a real-life situation. The scenes were tightly scripted, in order to assure the safety of both student and instructor, given the probable level of student inexperience. In my case, the first time I practiced a move, I had a momentary flashback to one of the issues in my past, and the instructor noted it as well. I asked the instructor for assurance as to his safety for when things would become more physical, and he reassured me that, when encased in his body armor, he would be able to take an incredible amount of physical abuse from students.

At the end of the evening, the class was issued room keys to a motel at which BAMM had rented rooms for the weekend. The lead male instructor then presented the class with three questions to ponder overnight:

What are you willing to fight for?

What are you willing to kill for?

What are you willing to die for?


Last updated January 19, 2015


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