I'm Relatable Again in Current Events

I don’t think wine and I can friends. I figured that I would treat myself and buy some the other day and it did not serve me well. My depression was crippling me yesterday. I think that the wine did it. I felt like I cheated myself when I woke up yesterday. Then I cheated myself, even more, when I couldn’t bring myself to see Hetal off. She’s now moved to Ontario and we didn’t get to say goodbye. We’ll stay in touch. I’m sure of that. She was understanding. I wasn’t though. My depression has not hit me like that in years. It was awful and it was scary. I’m hiding the wine from myself, it is clearly something that no longer serves me.

I just got back from a visit with my Doctor. We talked about my mental health again. I’m still convinced that my A&D are not problems but symptoms but we wrote me a prescription for Zoloft just in case I change my mind. I’m probably going to get it filled on Monday. RIP to my sex drive. My sex life was on life support anyway, might as well pull the plug on that big bloated bitch. After yesterday I will take all the help that I can get. He also really wants me to look into seeing a psychotherapist because I’m too gay to function… ok bad joke, he helped me realize that I have put my entire life on hold to deal with my internal dialogues. I’ve brought so much to the surface and now it is crushing me. I’m calling it a purge because I am processing these things for good. I was ready to look into getting help with this also anyway. I was thinking about finding a holistic therapist or something along those lines but a psychotherapist sounds like more fun.

He asked what was going on in my life and I told him that I have a lot of external problems but they all share the same solution. Employment. So yeah. I’m a hopeless basket case. I’m relatable again :D