Tiny in ❅journal 2019❅

So i dont think I ever fully explained the weight thing with me. I’d say in second grade i would skip breakfast during the summer like a week long, because id just eat brunch. In eigth grade thats when i started skipping breakfast for more morning phone time.

It wasn’t until last school year that i started… testing myself. How many lunches could i skip before getting used to the hunger. (It took two) How many days could i go without breakfast.

I’ve lost a lot of weight since starting this diary. I need to lose it. The thought of being 60lbs excites me? It’s like, I feel so happy thinking of being that weight. 80lbs sends shivers down my spine. That’s the perfect weight. That’s so beautiful so lovely so tiny. Just talking about it makes me excited!!

But my boyfriend wasn’t excited, he was worried and said i can only go to 115. ONE HUNDRED FIFTEEN. I almost threw up reading the words. That’s too big. Too hefty. Too chunky. The weight on my bones, bleh! I feel naesous now talking about it. I even teared up a bit when i agreed.