Weight... in Pregnancy Journal

Weight gain, weight loss, muscle mass, strength, energy.

I’m getting bigger and bigger all the time but the scale hardly moves.
I started out this pregnancy at fighting weight (literally), and I’ve always maintained a high level of athleticism. For me, though, because of my height (5‘8”), I have to work to maintain a higher weight to stay in my fighting class. In Judo, it’s really not an advantage to weigh less. Especially if you’re tall. Which is fine. But I weighed around 150lbs just pre-preggo. And again, it was work to maintain that. If I wasn’t actively gaining, I’d be around 135.
Pregnancy happened and I stopped Judo. So to me, the weight loss was a pretty natural phenomenon. I lost about 12 lbs in a month. Just cuz, not doing anything to maintain it.
Well my Midwife freaked out, lol. I think she is causing me more anxiety about the weight issue than anything.
I have gained weight since then, but only a couple lbs over pre-preggo weigh in. And the scale is taking a long time to move. Idt my Midwife has ever worked with anyone in the athletic range like me. She still thinks my base should be 150 >.> She keeps going on about the baby’s brain and organs and things, insists on doing food tracking, and wants me to gain more. The baby is measuring perfect. Uhg. Just frustrating.

I’m still running into strangers that swear I don’t look pregnant. LOL. Again, not actually fat, just preggo. And it’s not like I run into random strangers and tell them I’m pregnant. Just medical staff. They’re always surprised :/
I wear those stretchy pants now. In public. It’s nerve wrecking. I can’t wear anything else. Tight clothes make me feel so self conscious. Even though the entire female persuasion seems to wear them everywhere. I was holding out in my ‘big’ jeans for as long as I could.

My muscle mass has dropped significantly, and hence also my strength. I still do some pull-ups, push-ups, squats and things. But nowhere near what I was doing. I could grapple a 200lb guy to the floor, before. I was riding 3 days a week. Now I’m a wimp )’= It’s kind of depressing.
It’s also a scary type of vulnerability that I think I was not prepared for. Sure, I could still take someone out in a pinch, but I don’t feel strong. Definitely not strong enough to protect myself and another tiny human.

I’ve decided to not worry about it, but feelings. Those damn feelings just won’t leave me alone.