Random Shouted Statement (and memes) in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

All right folks, I have to be honest with you:

I’ve been absolutely HORRID about reading anything of yours. Ever since the play started, I’ve had less and less time and stopped reading and got behind and am having a devil of a time catching up. So the truth is: I’m not going to. I’ll pick up reading as much as possible but there are a number of you for whom I am two months behind and will simply… muddle through. I apologize.

Next Statement: It should come as no surprise to any of you that I really want to O. Schedules and life being what it is, even my own solo ministrations have become rare. I hope to rectify that this evening. But I wish to acknowledge an interesting change in the whispers of my heart… or the back of my head… or wherever mysterious personal voices come from.

You see… when I was married and my wife would want me to masturbate to porn instead of have a healthy sexual relationship with her… that kind of destroyed me. I mean… even ignoring the sexual hang ups from my youth… the fact that my own WIFE wanted to reject me to the point of “Seriously, just masturbate. I don’t want you. Jerk off.” That… rips me up. Granted… in porn, I could investigate what looked interesting, fun, pleasing. As opposed to accepting the rare vanilla missionary gift that I would so rarely be bestowed. But the idea that I waited for One Woman and that woman pretty much didn’t give a shit about building a sexual relationship… that gutted me.

Now? It feels… different. Not better. Not exactly. But different. Now it feels like I’m self-pleasuring out of ignorance and fear, lol. There is this whisper in the distance that my life might be able to include sexual activities… but I know I can’t chase that whisper down yet. And I’m excited to do so, but I’m nervous to do so as well. So instead of a little voice weighing me down saying, “This is because you are a failure. This is because your wife doesn’t want you. This is because your marriage sucks.” Now the little voice is saying “This may be temporary. This might be only a short while. You just need to learn how to get out there.” And that is a.... very different experience!

(This statement turns me on… not gonna lie)

Is it inappropriate to say that I find this picture hot?

Is it okay for me to say that I am really hoping and looking forward to learning how to eat pussy?

Ah, the experiences that could be fun… but I lack both the creative cleverness and the casual suavity for these tinder concepts