17 in Ponderings of the Universe

Well, it finally happened.

Arty fell into the toilet.

We try to be good about keeping the seat down for that very reason but it definitely gets missed somettimes.

Last night, Aaron was brushing his teeth and Arty came to investigate. Jumped up on the toilet, slipped and 3 paws went in. He pulled himself out and actually didn’t run around like a maniac.

But we had to give him a bath since we didn’t want kitten toilet water paws all over the place. He HATED it. He gets more and more upset with each bath he gets. Though, he was a very good boy. Just yelling/complaining and trying to escape, no claws or teeth.

Good before bed activity!

Today was OK. I paid some bills and did my benefits stuff. Each year, I increase how much I’m putting into my 401(k), but it still seems like a weenie amount. Baby steps.

I’ve come to the realization that I don’t know how to relax. Or rather, what I’m doing to try to relax isn’t cutting it. Or I’m incapable. I’m not sure. I enjoy curling up with critters and hiding in bed, doing internet/phone mindlessness, playing Cat Game (a wonderful time suck), reading. But I can’t say it makes me feel particularly relaxed. I’ve come to realize that I can’t seem to turn off the part of my mind that is essentially always doing a countdown. I am always aware that the weekend is half over or I have to go to bed in X number of hours, etc. It’s something my brain has done as long as I can remember and I don’t enjoy it. It contributes (and is a symptom of?) my anxiety.

One of my vet school professors died yesterday of aggressive colon cancer than metastasized to her brain. I didn’t have her for a ton of things-she did mostly public health stuff, but she was kind, smart, funny, passionate, approachable. And young. She created an organization for students and veterinarians to donate their skills to help underserved populations on reservations. It hit me harder than I expected. In part, because it’s so unfair that someone so young with so much more to offer the world should have to die from such an aggressive, ugly disease when they could have lived so much more. But also, it’s bringing up a lot of my own cancer memories and thoughts and fears and anxieties that I thought were resolved or safely tucked away.