Cheerleader in Current Events

A life coach. That is what I could use right now. I could use somebody on my side right now as I can’t seem to get up the nerve to take any form of action in my life. It’s been seven months now since I lost my job. I don’t want to feel sorry for myself. I refuse to blame anybody for the position that I am in. I have problems but I also have solutions. I just can’t seem to bring myself to bridge that gap already. My doctor is ready to offer up some medication but I don’t think I have an issue with my biochemistry. I am suffering from my own intelligence. My mind goes to the worst-case scenario and then gets me emotionally prepared for it. My mind could absolutely go to the best-case scenario and get me emotionally prepared for that instead. Like, all that I have to do is learn to control that and I will become unstoppable. BAM! Mental illness solved!

I dreamt that I was rehired at my old job. I woke up and thought about it and that affected me horribly. Instant mood poisoning. I couldn’t shake it off so I took a depression nap with my cat. When I woke up I saw that I missed a call and I suspect that it was finally that lawyer. I can’t bring myself to check the voicemail because the story I am telling myself is that he will be saying that he is not taking on clients right now, to fuck off, leave him alone and stop being a gremlin. Thus, that is what will manifest… holistically speaking of course.

Speaking of holistic, I am pretty salty that Dirk Gently is not being renewed. Why can’t high concept shows live more than two seasons on Netflix? The OA… Sense8. RIP.

I added a cover letter to my resume and I am about to post it on Indeed. That will help bridge that gap. I am going to my bank to transfer the last bit of my savings tomorrow and that will tie me over for a couple of weeks. Breathe Tom you big bloated bitch. That pretty much sums up all of my problems. I could have worse problems ya?

Maybe what I need is Jesus? Krishna? Guru Nanak? Babaji? Muhammed? Beyonce? No… I need me to let go of this belief that I can’t do anything because of my crippling anxiety and depression because that is what I keep manifesting. I’m the guy who gives the pep talks, would it be weird to ask people to just send me empowering texts all day long? lol