12:23 PM in Hello

Smokey just bit my elbow. Lil’ fucker.

I got maybe three hours of sleep last night. Had too much on my mind to think about when I got to work so I threw on the headphones and dived face first into my job. Throughout the night I worked like mad, drinking endless (okay, one pot) amounts of coffee and stayed on my feet…till about 4. My back was killing me (still is) and I needed a rest.

Saw Dr. Gilbert at 9 and told her about the videos I’ve been watching and not drinking. She gave me a card for a substance abuse program (12 step based -_-) and the name of the nurse who runs it plus a prescription for Antabuse. I’ll call that number Monday but didn’t get that ‘script filled. $154. I’m poor. I got my anti depressants, anxiety and sleeping pills filled though. By this point I’m dead on my feet but still picked mom up at Pep Boys and she treated me to brunch.

Now I’m home, full and wide-the-fuck-awake.

I’m about to go take a sleeping pill and lay here…after I put some ointment on my aching back.

Dr. Gilbert did tell me to make up a list of current stressors and identify the one that’s my major trigger and work on that first. Looks like I’ve got something to do at work tonight between cycles.