Laughing in General musings

So, by last night when I knew he'd call on his way home, I was almost (dreading?) it. But once we started talking, I settled in. We had a LOOONG conversation - almost and hour and a half. He said when he'd read my comment about feeling like an unimportant part of his relationship with my husband, he'd said to himself, "oh shit, did I really make her feel that way?" And laughing, said "no, I care much more about you than about him." Well, during the course of the long conversation, we talked about when his marriage was breaking up (and yes, we were involved then too - 16 years ago) I told him, yes, I was around then, I remember. We talked about the funerals for both his parents. "Were you around when my father died?" I said no, we were apart then...It was 1991, I think...I was a newlywed. And we all know I wasn't around for his mother's. So he teased, So you weren't there either time. Next time you better be around when my parents die." Adding (which didn't make me feel wonderful, and I know I am making excuses for him as I always do) "You fucking cunt." But we went on talking, he cried telling me how his mom passed, and that he had her buried wearing her sweats and baseball cap, as she always dressed. It was getting past when hub should have been home, so I said I bet he is buying me something. "like what?" I said flowers probably. "I don't even know what kind of flowers you like." (even though we had this discussion a few weeks ago) Tulips, I told him. That's my favorite. So he said, you'll have to text me and tell me if he did that. And of course, he had. 10 purple tulips because he knew I had a bad day. Of course F was telling me horrible things to say in response to the flowers. I didn't. I hugged hub and thanked him. So later on I get another text. "I AM FUCKED" I knew he was doing his taxes, so I figured rightly that it was about that. He owes - a lot. In the old days when I had a nice paying job, I would have just written a check, but now..... and of course he said, "And don't even think about it. I'll figure it out." This morning I didn't get a good morning text and I knew he was upset. Sent, 'you ok?' "Yeah just bummed". I suggested that he talk to his finance person. he said he would at lunchtime. Said again I wished I could help. He said No. Won't let you. Shortly thereafter, "Thank you for being you." I said I wished I could do more than that. "I would not let you." Then, "You are the best". So I said, 'Ditto'. "Not me" 'yeah you' "I ruined a marriage" 'bullshit' "Well, I WAS an ass". 'Maybe a little :P. Then we had a phone conversation during his break and at least I got him laughing. It was nice to hear and made me feel better too.