NJM 8 in NoJoMo 2019

If you could be any color, what would you be and why? by Dark As Day, Bright As Night

I really love this question. I’m a visual person, and the coloring thing that I really should start doing again, but can’t seem to make myself do it. feh.

hm hold on. I have to think on this just a wee bit.

an hour and a half later

I’ll explain why I sat here with this tab open and ignoring it after I write my answer to the prompt.

I feel in my soul that I should be varying shades of iridescent green, all blended together perfectly. Basically, a forest nymph. I feel very close to Mother Nature, and all the animals she sustains. I want to be a part of Her, I guess.

However, I think it would be really cool if I changed colors according to my mood, or thoughts. Not so much for other people to see. “oh shit. Diane is turning midnight black. Time to walk in the other direction!” lol No, I would like it so I would have a clue about how I’m feeling, because sometimes I’m feeling so much at once, I don’t have a clue what the fuck is going on.

Ok! Prompt done. Now grab some cheese to go with my whine.

My back has been hurting since getting home from the ME trip. 8 hours on the bus plus the ride back home from KS was toooo much for my back. This is why I can’t do a sit down job. Sitting for long periods of time make me hurt way the fuck worse than being up on my feet, moving around.

Yesterday it was pretty bad. It made me snappy, no patience.

Today? Today I pretty much wanted to cry because it hurts so bad. It started getting really bad … according to the message I sent Pam, it was almost 11:30 this morning. By the time I got to Docs house I wanted to scream, cry, and curl up on the floor.

Actually I did get down on the floor as soon as I got to Docs to do some stretches. They hurt so good, but really didn’t do anything. I keep one Clonazepam with me along with ibuprofen, so I took those. I don’t bring a muscle relaxer with me, though. I don’t know why. They don’t make me tired or dizzy or anything. I guess from now on I’ll have to do that.

There is absolutely no cell signal at Docs. None. Thankfully they are nice and let me use their WiFi. I would have sent a message to idjit to see if they could squeeze me in this afternoon, but I was moving so damn slow I knew there was no way I’d make it back to town on time, so I took the chance of asking for some Norco. Just a few days (I know better than to ask for more) to see if the med combo will loosen my back up.

She sent me a message saying she called it in for me, and I thanked her profusely. But, I was moving so slow at Docs, I didn’t think I would make it back to town to pick it up. Pam rescued me by getting them, and a sub for me. She does too much for me. <3

After talking with Pam for a little bit when I got home, I did my “omfg I’m going to have a breakdown if I don’t get this under control” med combo. Now, I know it sounds like a lot, but most meds don’t work for me. Some because I’ve built up a tolerance, others because they just don’t work.

I’ve been on Flexeril for a long time, so I doubled up on that, doubled on my Clonazepam, 800 mg of ibuprofen, and 2 Norcos. I got out of my work clothes, put some lidocaine gel where I could reach, grabbed my heat pack, and waited for things to feel a little better.

Yeah, I’m feeling fuzzy from it, but right now, I really do need to feel fuzzy.

What sucks is the heat pack makes the shoulder tendon issue act up, but the whole right side of my back is totally fucked up, from my SI joint, all the way up to… let me pull up my spine graph thingy. So from about T4, all the way down to the sacrum. And my neck hurts just from the stress of it all.

::grrr::

Well, I guess I’ll take off the heat pack, and go get the ice pack for my shoulder.

See ya.