Just a burst in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

Forgive me if the language I use in this entry offends, it is not intended to. However, I find that occasionally, I feel a need to be blunt. Dropping the pretenses of diplomacy or well-mannered speech, I may be far more curt and unrefined but likely much more easily understood.

As the weekends of November have been inching closer, I have pushed myself to work harder. Clean, cook, memorize lines, prepare for work, the list of activities one must complete for proper hosting can be a long one… and we will be having guests each weekend for the first three weekends of November. And it dawned on my recently that I’ve been pushing so hard to do things… that I’ve not properly spent any time at all recently on my own interests and desires. Obviously, the argument exists (and would not be wrong) that hosting and The Play and even Work are my own interests and desires. So I should change the wording. I’ve had less and less time (until finally none) to do those things that work as… pressure valves. I’ve not had a sip of alcohol since Saturday 10/26… honestly can’t remember the last time I masturbated… and I think the last time I played video games was either Saturday 10/26 or Friday 10/25. Now obviously, I understand and appreciate and value that there are many people in this world that don’t get to engage in a “pressure valve” activity every week. I appreciate and understand that. HOWEVER, I would also point to the element that I don’t have children, nor a second job… thereby making “free time” something that I should have a great deal more of.

All for the sake of hosting, I suppose. Hopefully, I’ll get to both rest and enjoy this weekend. The following weekend will be FAR more restful and enjoyable. And then… PLAY weekend and hosting my own parents. Then of course, the hustle and bustle and whirlwind of trying to figure out Thanksgiving Plans and then immediately shift gears into Christmas Present Buying.

Funny thing is… in some of that? Wife will actually come in handy. Hosting, taking care of the house, taking care of the dog? Some hit and miss there. She herself admits that she’s “lazy” and just “doesn’t want to have to do” a lot of things. But when it comes to Christmas Presents, she’s on top of it. She’ll have complete lists of who we need to buy for, where they have wish lists, what off-list items she thinks they might like as well… we’re good there for that. Which I suppose is also a good way to look at how she operates. That one time Here’s a thing for you to say love she can do well. That lifestyle, consistent We live like this because we’re a married couple is where she falls apart.