Just bitching in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

Here is some more bitching from me on a tired and shitty topic.

You know how I have a full time job? And how, even in slow days, I am at work AT MINIMUM from 7:30 to 5:00? You know how Wife takes two college courses? And how that means she is out of the house for two hours a day? You know how we have a puppy? You know how I am in a play? You know how we have guests coming this weekend?

So… here’s a thing-
Monday and Tuesday… I had to cook dinner. And I scrub cleaned the basement bathroom. And vacuumed the entire basement. Wife changed the sheets on the guest bed and moved her boxes from “all around the basement living room” to “at least a central area”. Unfortunately, Nala destroyed one of the pillows in the basement. Wife went rage-shriekingly insane with rage. Went on a tirade about “needing to watch (her) all day”. Acting as though Nala were behaving in some way personally to fuck up Wife’s life. So… while SHE has the emotional explosion… I solve the damn problem. Vacuum again, get Nala out of the basement, and clean up everything in the basement.

Wife is still red-hot blindingly enraged. So I do research on why Nala may be behaving as she is. (1) She is an almost 11-month old puppy, (2) she is exceedingly intelligent, (3) with me being away for 12 hours a day, Wife is expected to give attention and love and training to the dog… which isn’t happening. So… what solutions might be present? Puzzle Toys, Kenneling, and Quality Time. But of course… a woman “too busy” to make dinner, clean a complete room, or get homework done in under 9 hours… can’t be arsed to even so much as put the dog in the kennel.

But here is the thing: I’ve watched Wife with the dog. Wife is absolutely head over heels for this puppy. And now I get it. Everything is conditional. She loves the dog, just so long as the dog doesn’t have any needs. She loves me, just so long as I don’t have any needs. She loves the house, just so long as it doesn’t have any needs. I will need to revisit this issue in our NEXT next couple’s counseling

I get that Wife has issues. And I’m not required to stay with her just because of those issues. But it really does weigh on me. Like… if she is AUTISTIC or has a serious *condition * that prevents her from managing her life? Leaving her for that would be like leaving someone for getting paralyzed. But if it something like depression or anxiety or something that requires medication and therapy and she just isn’t doing that? That is more like someone who broke both of their legs but refuses to stop using the wheelchair when their legs have healed.