My mountians are not mole hills. in In My World

I have a really bad habit of downplaying anything that is wrong with me–even when it is completely valid for me to be broked/down/hurt/angry/etc.

Maybe that’s why no one believes me when I start having bad anxiety days over seemingly nothing. Maybe that’s why I feel the need to bury my trauma
–even the most triggering parts–because “someone has it worse.” Maybe that’s why I dont talk about things until I’m ready to explode and fight or flight my way out. Maybe it’s because when I say for weeks that it’s going to be triggering and that I’m going to need comfort it gets ignored or brushed off. Maybe it’s because I’m the only one who sees that I’m not freaking out over what everyone else would call nothing.

It’s not nothing to me. Its something.

My trauma is valid. My feelings are valid. If I’m the only fucking person who can see that they are valid than the world can go fuck itself. I am a goddamned warrior and fucking nothing can stop me.

I am valid.

Don’t let the world convince you that you are alone. You’re not. Even if it seems that way.

Oh, and if anyone tells you not to cross an ocean for someone that wouldnt do the same for you, ignore them. Love recklessly. Do good things recklessly.

Be the goddamned change.

I needed you. I needed you. I needed you. I needed you. I needed you. I needed you.

For anyone that doesnt know me well enough yet: if I seem like I’m getting angry or snappy or bitchy over nothing it is (9 times out of 10) my anxiety showing itself. I probably need you to be patient with me. I probably need reassurance or comfort. Not “You’re fine. Its nothing to freak out over.”

I can’t control it. Despite all my efforts.

I can’t keep spiraling. Goodnight.