Ramblings of a loser in Current Events

[Trigger Warning: This entry has an opinion in it that is not recommended for readers with low self-esteem]

The results for the bloodwork should be in by Monday. I won’t know what to think if the results come back perfect. I am pretty confident that something is wrong with my thyroid. I’m adding ringing ears to my little list of symptoms. Without modern medicine, I would be deaf right now. I was born with holes in my eardrums that were corrected with temporary implants and I am very aware that every time I hear a ringing in my ear, that is the sound of a cell dying and that is a frequency that I will never hear again. When I went out with Kyle a couple of weeks ago everybody was loud and I found myself sounding like my mother because I was needing people to repeat themselves once or twice. It happened at Ashley’s wedding also. Everybody was just loud though but I will get my hearing tested anyway. My mother is half deaf in one ear and she is actually up for surgery to correct that. The part of the ear that needs to vibrate has some calcium buildup and that can be corrected with a laser. There is a 1% chance that the procedure will fail and her left ear becomes pedantic. Also, my ringing ears is likely just a symptom of my anxiety. Stress is besting me right now.

Absolutely everybody at the clinic yesterday had the flu. My niece and nephew have the flu, whom I live with, so it was just a matter of time before I woke up with some of those symptoms. Hi flu, how are you? I wished Leanne a happy birthday yesterday and she told me that she was at home with the flu also. She got ahold of that lawyer’s assistant for me and I was told that he will return my call this week. He’s just in the middle of a few hearings. Somebody from that department will call me if he gets too swamped. She promises me that he is the biggest sweetheart so I am trying not to feel intimidated. I am starting to have some doubts about everything. What if I lose the lawsuit and get stuck paying all these legal fees? Do I take a settlement and let them get away with everything and just sweep me under the rug? Gretchen Carlson took a settlement and she still gets to talk about it… minus all the details which are available to the public. Also, she is in a different country.

My sister and I are at that point where we are passive-aggressively snapping at each other. I can’t do absolutely anything in the kitchen without her getting in my way. I start to cook so she gets hungry and needs to be in the kitchen at the same time or needs to do something else in there and I called her out on it yesterday. I can’t clean without her trying to cook. Stuff like that. Give me 10 fucking minutes. Later on, in the evening she randomly called me out on always waking her son up. Her husband made it clear that he does not want to create a culture in his home where we are tiptoeing around a baby. Madalyn was conditioned to sleep through absolutely everything. He is not around to stop Melissa from letting Vincent call all the shots. He is six months old now so he is ready to learn to cry it out. That is something Melissa was not able to do with Madalyn. Matt had to lock himself in a room to keep Melissa out so that Madalyn could learn to cry it out. Melissa is driving herself crazy and all of us crazy because she refuses to let her son cry for more than thirty seconds. He’s constantly being held. He does have his first flu right now though. She also decided that she needs to sleep in the living room which means Vincent is just two feet from the top of the creaky stairs. So yes, my footsteps will wake him up. I drink four litres of water a day, I’m going to need the bathroom more than anyone. Also, she is in a permanent state of trying to get him to sleep and so yes, I just woke him up trying to get my breakfast together at 10am. I’m clumsiest when I am trying to be careful and quiet. I am fully aware that I have overstayed my welcome here. My sister keeps saying, in a passive-aggressive way, that she has nowhere to put her Christmas tree. What she is actually saying is “I need you to move so I can put a Christmas tree up.” Absolutely everybody on this planet agrees that the layout in her living room is the absolute worst setup. Absolutely everybody on this planet can see that the best solution is to just flip where the two-piece sectional is with the TV but my sister absolutely refuses to even let anyone say that. She doesn’t want to block her window which is completely blocked by curtains 99.9% of the time… living here is not the big toxic situation that I make it out to be. My sister is just… strung out. She doesn’t believe that she has anxiety but girl, interrupt her tight schedule and she completely comes undone. She absolutely cannot be inconvenienced in any way and she cannot stray far from her habits and schedule. Everyone and everything needs to revolve around her, she does not know how to adapt to change. I was supposed to have been moved out by now but I lost my job. Toni is facing job loss soon and she asked to wait until the spring. I don’t know how to bring that up to my roommates right now because I want to have a job first when I tell them. I feel like they’re conspiring to have a talk with me about kicking me out but I dunno. I have job opportunities all over my web browser but my heart drops into my stomach at the thought… but I gotta just fucking do it. I can go scan groceries until I find something else that I want to do ya? Why I gotta be so bitch? What if my future employer finds out that I am suing my previous employer and fires me? Imaginary futures really are hard to conquer. Today is my personal deadline, Tomorrow is my six month anniversary of being fired. I’ve been fired before, I was just done dirty from this last one and I want them to pay for the injustices and indignities that they get away with. (Hetal just called, she applied at a different location and they called Karamjeet who told them that hiring Hetal would be a mistake. I told her where to apply next and to ask them to call me for a reference instead of Karamjeet. Even though she is not listed as a reference they would just call the store Hetal worked at previously. Where Karamjeet will slander the fuck out of Hetal.)

[Trigger Warning: Do not read if you’re somebody that needs to like everything]
Do you know who triggers me? Joe Rogan. He makes the most outrageous claims about veganism without any good science to back it up. He, of course, came for James Cameron’s film the Game Changers and “debunked” it with claims that people in the film are on steroids and that vegans are all going to die from malnutrition. He completely ignored all of the science in the film. “We are supposed to eat meat!” Well sir, let’s put your money where your mouth is, Fear Factor style. I’ll eat a plate full of raw vegan food and you can eat a plate full of raw meats! Then let’s see whose body can digest what. Animals don’t cook meat to digest it in nature. Although I was thinking about this yesterday, how all the other primates do eat insects. Apparently the occasional lizard also. Then I cringed because insects make my skin crawl. We have the same size intestines as herbivores, same hands, teeth and eyes and so we are perfectly capable of getting everything that we need from plants. Everything meat has came from plants. Meat is not necessary. There is no one diet fits all but a plant-based diet is the only one proven to reverse various diseases like heart disease, obesity and type 1 diabetes. The only one proved to provide protection against various lethal cancers like breast cancer. To cure chronic pain! Joe Rogan talks about veganism more than vegans do. I think we have a closet case here. I like how he and his guests that talk about it always mention how under attack they always feel. Yes, vegans respond, with more grace and dignity than you give, to correct your information, sir. I guess he’s never had to stand up for anything in his privileged life. All of the science that supports carnism was funded by industry! All of the media that supports carnism is sponsored by industry! There is always going to be someone in a conversation whose job is to keep the information confusing… I like to think that viewers can see right through that. The meat & dairy industries are literally just following the exact formula that tobacco companies used to get people to smoke cigarettes. Hire fit athletes to pose with their products. Pay doctors and researchers to tell the public that there is no risk to cancers & diseases. Currently, 12 000 doctors are fighting to get dairy out of the USDA dietary guideline for 2020 and they are trying to get the same warning labels that cigarette cartons have on cheese products as the link between cheese and breast cancer is as strong a tobaccos link to lung cancer. The media rarely covers the success stories and it does not talk about how fast and strong this vegan movement is growing. In Britain, the dairy industry is losing one farmer a week. In California, a law banning fur was just passed. As of January 1st, 2023 fur will be illegal and violators will be fined up to $1000 and can serve up to six months in jail. Vegan companies in Mississippi teamed up with the Institute of Justice and sued the state for trying to pass a senate bill banning them from being allowed to use words like burgers, nuggets and milk. The meat & dairy industry tried to take away the plant-based industry’s first amendment right and lost miserably. Animals don’t need to be food or fabric. I just let my dollar do the talking and so do most vegans and I’m sorry that it makes people like Joe Rogan insecure.

Anyway, I gotta go stop being a loser. I feel bad complaining about my sister so I’m going to look for ways to be more helpful so that I can learn to be more grateful.
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