Letter in Current Events

Well, once I again I did not wake up in a tropical paradise with a gorgeous specimen of male goodness wrapped around me and six figures in my bank account… so you can imagine how disappointed I am.

I am trying to finish Rising Strong by Brene Brown but my mind keeps going back to obsessing over my previous place of employment and the injustices and indignities that I suffered there. In my previous entry, I mentioned my bad idea of writing an e-mail to the regional manager and explaining to him how they, as a company, decided to silence the victims and that is wrong. That their policies regarding harassment and violence in a workplace had let me and several others down. That they protected a serial predator instead of protecting those who were brave enough to come forward about sexual harassment. To make my story go away quickly because a cultural shift would have taken too long. That there is a flaw in their system, in their chain of command as it provides no protection for their employees from abusive and predatory managers. That employees have no access to anyone that can hold these managers accountable. They enabled a culture that allows managers to exploit vulnerable employees. A toxic climate where employees that come forward with harassment claims are discounted, shamed and labelled troublemakers. They are terminated and their claims are labelled as sour grapes. I want to imply that I am going to sue for emotional damages, sexual harassment and wrongful termination. That I want to get my story out and add more fuel to this me too movement so that others can feel empowered enough to come forward.

So yes, I did write a draft yesterday. It explains my story and it gives them an opportunity to see how their policies did not work. I have not sent it yet because I don’t know how I feel about it all just yet. I want this to bring me catharsis. I want head office to circle back and look at how my situation was handled and I want my previous employers to pay for their crimes. I want Karamjeet to be fired, Larry to resign and Brad & Kirk to take some courses on how employees are to be treated. If I do get a lawsuit going then I will obv want a settlement… unless that forces me to be silent. I think that I will send it. The only reason I am hesitating is that like most victims of harassment I don’t feel like I will be believed. Especially since I am no longer employed so I will be discounted. I explained in my draft that if I did move forward with a lawsuit that I would be proven right. They know I have all the receipts. I know these narcissists well and they will want to protect their image and their brand. Will they feel sorry that I feel this way? No! They can’t control what I think so they will do what narcissists do and they will try and change what everybody else thinks of me. They are going to read me to filth and try and shrink me down to just a bitter ex-employee who is full of lies. Or just ignore me altogether. I aired out all of their dirty laundries in my draft you guys. With grace and tact. If my calculations are correct, I should at least get a response from head office saying that they will look into this. This letter will be shown to those managers who will react exactly the way that I said they would but they will be shaken to their core because of the one emotion that narcissists have, shame. The thought of the world looking at them as monsters and villains will keep them up at night as they will feel embarrassed until this “blows over”. Or I will be slapped with a gag order and threatened with a lawsuit for slander and defamation of character.