Gradual Adaptation in Everyday Ramblings

This is the heritage shagbark hickory a few days ago in the park next to my place. It has been raining and gloomy since but we should have some clearing in the next few days.

As you might imagine I am not even close to being out of the woods yet about my job. Over at The Sherlock’s place on Sunday we had a nice time but I got a bit over stimulated. The guys were asking me to declaim one of my poems on the spot. And this stirred up a lot about the past.

And we watched The Spy Who Came in from the Cold featuring a middle aged Richard Burton and a young Claire Bloom. It is cynical and sad and dark.

So when I came home and settled in I thought I would listen to a little bit of a new relatively short audio book called Sarah Jane by James Sallis. One of the reviews said and from what I could glean from a quote it seemed like a poetic take on a murder mystery/character study.

I thought oh…I’ll drift off to sleep… but no such luck. This rather intense sense of dread appeared and I realized I hadn’t just been feeling it on Sunday nights recently but for a long time. Maybe 6 years…since management tried to kill my wildly successful project and get me laid off, or fired. Wow. That is a long assed time to feel dread.

I said hello to it, sweated a bit into my cotton sheets even though the ambient temperature is cool and stayed up until almost 1AM finishing the book.

It is a good thing to begin to feel all the stress and apprehension I have been under all this time. Not that I have any intention of hanging on to it but yesterday midmorning running in place in my kitchen to get my cardio I looked out the window and Mr. On the Spectrum walked by.

He looked preoccupied, did not look in. I don’t think he actually knows I live here. After working for him for a year and a half and he didn’t know my schedule, knowing where I live…

My class went fine last night. I was much more focused as a teacher than I usually am and that gave coherence to the structure of the class. There was a lovely social aspect before and after, it was like a party, people moving from little group to little group talking and laughing.

I just marveled at it.

This afternoon I get my eyes checked and I hope to get a new prescription for glasses in to take advantage of the 9 days left on my vision plan.

I won’t be able to afford new glasses without it, though I know AARP has some discounts available that I could investigate if this doesn’t work out. I did ask the optical shop last week and they said they should be able to do it.

Otherwise it is a grocery shopping, puttering sort of day.

Getting ready for our four day getaway.

Last updated October 22, 2019