Story Bah in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

Bah. I can’t promise anything because whenever I have a genuine intent to express myself creatively, something happens and I’m prohibited from the very expression I was attempting.

That being said, I feel the following is a safe thing to say:

At work, I am required to be in control of my emotions, my behavior, my mind.
At home, I am required to be in control of my emotions, my behavior, my mind.
At play practice, the play is… saccharine. The most “dramatic” it gets is when my character (trying to fool his family into thinking he is happy) reveals that he is, in fact, depressed. And the play ends with everyone happy, one big family, group hug and rainbows everywhere kind of ending.

All of this collects to put pressure on my dark side. Like… seriously. All of the “full control” and “smiles and sweetness” and “creating a sickly sweet story”… it makes me want to “balance” it all by letting the darker sides of my personality come out to play.

SO… I’m hoping that I can do that through writing at some point. Perhaps what I write will be dark or gross or offensive or disturbing… perhaps it won’t be anything at all. But I’m saying this in advance because I can recognize that part of my spirit wanting some attention.