Semi-Twitter Sized in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

So… I get grocery store anxiety. Hear me out… if I’m going to the Grocery Store to pick up “staples” that’s fine. Some milk, cereal, bananas, yogurt, a little meat, whatever. But when I go after looking over recipes and my intention is to buy things FOR those recipes? It gives me MASSIVE anxiety. Like… psych yourself up to go levels of anxiety. Because I can never find everything. EVER. And I go in knowing that. But the trick is always… did I not find it because they don’t have it or did I not find it because I don’t know where to look?

And if they don’t have it, can I substitute something for it? If not, where do I go for what I need? Am I going to have to drive an hour or so just to get “eggplant” because that’s too exotic for small town Iowa? And if I ask one of the workers for a seven ounce can of chipotle chiles, is that going to be another way the community thinks “Look at this Big City Outsider being uppity?” And if I don’t have all the ingredients, can I make the recipe anyway? Would that ruin everything? How long do I plan on cooking, anyway? My shopping list includes ingredients from 8 different recipes. Do I honestly intend to cook for 8 straight hours on Sunday so I can have appropriately meal planned meals for the following week?

Okay… so yeah. This is one of the reasons why I tend to eat very little or eat what is easy. Food Anxiety. Anxiety about buying the food. Anxiety about cooking the food. Bah!