my mom and i are really close. in 2007: March 1: transferred fom FOD

usually. [uh oh. yeah..............i’d say so.]. i was going to wait. untill i was more drunk. to type this but also. if i don’t do it now i won’t. i’m the kindof person who will take ‘forever’. to do something. and put it off ‘forever’. so here we are. well. here i am.
so. did i talk about the blanket thing? well a few wks. ago we. went to um. target then bed, bath & beyond then back. to the former where i. got a new blanket. i’d needed one anyway but i was planning. to wait untill i got my own place. to get one. bc of my anxiety. again. as i’ve explained i can’t have any change. the blanket is now in my closet [tehe. the blanket’s in the closet. sorry] at the house. i’m not ready for it to be on my bed.
um and then. fuk i forgot the other thing. but the next thing is. ok so on thurs. usually every other wk. after we go to panera we. go to the store and ya know that’s fine. but i hate. asking the store clerks for help. i hate it. i hate asking for help in general bc it makes me feel like less of a person it makes me feel weak. woman here. and it bothers me when i hear others ask the store clerks for help particularly ladies. i feel like they’re self-enabling. so anyway. on um thurs. we were in the produce section looking for apple cider. and i didn’t find any. so when we. were at the self checkout. my mom asked one of the attendants about it. like i can speak for myself. her asking on my behalf. and then us going back. to the produce section where i knew it wasn’t. [those bottles aren’t hard to miss.]. is just wasting my time. and i don’t like. wasting my time. like i knew they didn’t have it. so that was pretty much pointless. the lady was nice though. [well. um they’re supposed to be. but you know.].
next. the bus thing that happened on fri. godamn. it was quite dramatic.