That Much Better in Everyday Ramblings

If you have read “The Overstory”, which I am still under the influence of, this picture I took last weekend on the misty trail will make sense to you on an intuitive level.

It hazed up yesterday evening and we are back to rain and cooler temps but the day was gorgeous! It was also, much to my surprise, a flex day from the power company so after work I unplugged everything but the major appliances and went for a walk.

I wanted to go back to that well maintained trail south of downtown along the west side of the river. My back has been bothering my a bit again, nothing serious but achy discomfort if I walk too much so I was concerned about the distance.

There is so much traffic here! The drivers are aggressive and getting across marked streets with crosswalks but without lights treacherous because people basically do not stop for pedestrians anymore. They are too important and need to get where they are going. So I tried to plan my route with the least amount of that without going too far out of my way.

All these complicated calculations…how many people living rough that are using drugs will I encounter…

It all worked out. I walked past a small farmers market, which was fun. I have to be careful about what I eat because I am having the dreaded colonoscopy scheduled Tuesday so no late raspberries for me.

An hour out I found a lovely bench in the clear late afternoon light on a little outcropping above the river and rested my work frustrated and weary bones. This has been an overtime week for me and I am tired.

On Tuesday Motorcycle Man apparently complained to Mr. On the Spectrum that I was asking him to do something that he felt I should do, because he is so important and busy. I got a stern rebuke by email from Mr. On the Spectrum without asking my side of the situation.

I lost my temper. Everybody else was heading off to the employee appreciation even down at the waterfront (with the wellness llamas!) and I was stuck working and taking this crap. They were both working from home as I was in the office.

It turns out there was a rain squall during the event and they took the llamas to a tent until it passed so at least I didn’t miss schmoozing with them.

The outward manifestation of losing my temper was I glared at a couple of people as I was leaving for lunch but inside I was an absolute mess. It is the closest I have come to just plain walking off the job and saying screw you.

Not good for my health, not good for my heart.

This is so hard. Staying.

I wish I had another off ramp besides medical leave and giving up part of my pension benefit. I had an old lady moment later when I got home as I was resting in the poofy chair with Diego heavy on my lap I fell asleep! At 6PM.

The new “everyday” pants came from Macy’s and they fit and look good. I was even able to teach in one pair on Wednesday, they are more like leggings than sweats only a little thicker. The sweats look good enough to wear to church. The new bras I order fit too and that is a relief.

I promise myself, the bulk of the recent weight gain will come off when I am out of Toxic City.

The protocol for this colonoscopy is a little different than the one I had 10 years ago somewhere else. I didn’t realize that I am not supposed to eat the whole day before. I am teaching that evening!

Oh well, I’ll figure it out. We will have a quiet slow flow low to the ground class with a meditative quality.

And then that will be done and off my list!

And then I can focus on making the things I enjoy that much better.