Blehgg in ❅journal 2019❅

I’m better I guess, my boyfriend and i talked about how sexual things made me uncomfortable and he was fine with it. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders …

But then it didn’t. Because I didn’t tell him everything. I have a very real, deep fear of becoming like my father. My father is a registered sex offender, he’s a pedophile. And that scares me to death that I’ll get those urges when I’m older and I’m already almost an adult!

I know it’s not possible scientifically but every day I worry that I’ll develop the mental illness that causes people to become like that. I’m terrified.