um. the laundry thing. in 2007: March 1: transferred fom FOD

so. um well fuk. um. right so as i mentioned. and i’m not real proud of this. but. the reason i only wash my clothes 20 mins. instead of 30 is bc. well i don’t have a whole lot of patience. and to save time. which means. the water gets on the floor. in other words. if i don’t wait. for the washing machine. to run through a full cycle and then i. 10 mins. before the cycle ends. get my clothes out and put them. in the dryer. then they’re. well. the water from them gets on the floor. i’m sorry i really don’t know else to explain this.]. right so this happened last night. and so. well apparently like i said. the um. washing machine had leaked. well so. at like 7:10 when. my oven mitts were done w/ their. 2nd, cycle. i went to the laundry rm. to. um so i could put them through their 3rd. [and then their 4th. yes i have a thing w/ even numbers. and they have to go through 4 cycles. this time. and i’ve forgotten why. and i do mean ‘have to’ as in. it’s a compulsion. someone telling me they don’t doesn’t help.]. um so anyway. when i went. to dothatr i found. out that the um. laundry rm. was locked. so i knocked on the door cause my first thought was ‘oh maybe someone’s in there’. well. apparently no one was. so then. i knocked on the lady’s bedrm door. and went ‘i think the laundry rm.’s locked’ well. no i knew it was but i didn’t want to come off. as confrontational. and demanding. like ‘yeah hey the laundry rm door is locked unlock it right now’. well. she said it was bc there was water on the floor. no..............really? thank you capt. obvious. yes. i know there is. i’m the one who left it there. no kidding. but fine be redundant. and then. she asked. why there was and i’m ‘cause it didn’t let it go through the whole time’ [which is true. i didn’t/don’t]. and then she’s ‘well why did you do that?’ ‘i don’t know’. no i know. just tell me not to instead of all. the damn small talk and chitchat. cause see. if i tell her. why then she’ll say something like ‘well. work on your patience’ and tell me what to do about it. i hate being offered solutions. just be direct ya know? like ‘hey there’s water on the floor so.’. or ‘there’s more water there then usual bc the washing machine leaked’. fine. ok. it leaked. which may or may not have been my fault.
erm. so. she told. me the reason. she told me she didn’t want me to slip and fall. and apparently she felt she had to rush and clean it up ‘right away’. omygod. like cmon it’s not that bad. so? [no ok it is. no i know how bad concussions are bc well. i’ve had one.]. but i don’t need her to protect. me from myself. don’t indirectly give me that kindof attention. ever. also that comes off like she doesn’t trust me to be careful. and even if she says. she does. trust me enough to be careful. yeah like i’ll believe that. but ya know. w/e helps her sleep at night as they say. like. er for instance. rather. to be more articulate about it. if i knew. had a friend. who smoke cigs. i wouldn’t be ‘ok well give me your cigs’ ‘what you don’t trust me not to smoke?’ no actually i probably don’t. but i don’t see how indirectly. upsetting them is going to help. right and where the hell. was the lady about 2 yrs. ago jan. 2018. when i got. my concussion? exactly. she wasn’t. well she was at the house. not w/ me. too little. too late. sorry but no.
and it’s funny bc. um. ............in the past. there has been. water, on the floor. due to my. impatience. and she hasn’t locked the door the night of. er rather the night. i did my laundry. she really. should’ve been more clear about that. i’m not stupid obviously: i just. need to hear. ya know. things about that. like ‘hey just so ya know this is more then usual. which is why the door is locked’, or something. to. re-confirm it.
um so. last. sun. i had douvle rinsed my laundry like i’d said. bc. i have eczema getting better btw.]. and. apparently according to what i’ve read online. that’s supposed to help. double rinsing i mean. but i didn’t let her. know. i had it bc. well i don’t want a whole lot of attention. or someone telling me what to do. about it when i already know. well. oh so i have. travel pants. actually they’re the same kind of pants. i usually wear it’s just. they’re specifically for. travelling and i leave the label on them so i don’t get confused. well. but i put a couple pairs in w/. the other, pants like in the washing machine. and i can’t do that that’s not soc. acceptable to me. i mean me. personally. like no that can’t happen. nope. so then. i had to [and i do mean ‘had’ to as in. a compulsion] um. wash the other pants and the travel pants seperate. so that took. a bit of time.
so now. her new rule. is that my laundry is done at 10. whereas i used to. have it done by 1, 2 a.m. not even her rule. no my rule cause i live. by my own rules. like. i don’t actually. other then when it comes to laundry. use a whole lot of water. i don’t shower............in the traditional sense. or wash my hair again. in the traditional sense. [and please don’t ask about this.]. i um. i don’t cook so. i also. don’t drink. a whole lot of water. so i don’t really relate to people who do. people are all like ‘we should take care of the earth’. right well that makes it sound like. i’m the only. one responsible for it when. i’m not. i mean it’s not my personal earth as weird as that might sound. and i’m not the one payin the water bill why should i care? exactly. i don’t. she makes. quite a bit of money off me. every day no literally every. day that i’m just living in her house. so she makes enough to pay the water bill. it’s not my problem. sorry but i didn’t grow up w/. having a job at 16 like. an actual paying job just so the others in my household can survive. no i’ve never had that and i don’t have that now. i’ve always been. comfortable. financially. [not that of course. there’s anything w/ anyone having had that kindof lifestyle as there’s not.]. no i’m just saying. bc i didn’t. that might be part of why i’m like this. and it’s the one day i’ve. alloted myself to do laundry and no i won’t change that. so. ya know. just how i am. and if she doesn’t like that well that’s really not my problem.
um. right tide packets. so 2 wks. ago [well actually 2 wks. and one day ago as it’s now mon. and i started this entry last night at midnight something 12:20 so] um. another thing about me. is that i don’t like when things are stuck together. like stuck together food i won’t eat. and no i don’t mean like grilled cheese or quesedillas. [i could go for some grilled cheese right now. 3 a.m.] i mean. well pasta for example. the only stuck together food i’ll eat is well. rice sometimes and only white rice. w/ butter. otherwise no. won’t eat stuck together food. um. so...........i at times buy tide packets. when i have the money. cause i hate. not having enough of something. like i hate having just one box of rice. ya know? i have to have 2. or 4. um. so. well when i was. getting the tide packets out of the. bag thingy and putting them into. the container i have. in the laundry rm. some of them were stuck together and i can’t have that. that’s gross. ew. so i put them. behind the um dryer. bc i just didn’t feel like being responsible and taking them ‘all the way’ to my rm. and into my closet where. there’s a trash can. [we don’t have one in. the laundry rm.]. well so she mentioned something about that. which. right now i don’t want to say what it was.]. instead of just going ‘hey next time don’t do this’. yes. see that’s something i respond to and respond well. to.
and she had to clean it up. right bc i. currently don’t have. enough trash bags to. bring them into the laundry rm. w/ me to put. the tide packets the extra ones. into and then take them into my rm. and no i’m not going to ask her for trash bags. i’ll just wait. to get some from the dollar store/store. and i’m fine waiting. like i’ll get to it when i get to it. whatever. things happen. it’s not like the world’s biggest issue. like murder, or something. people and their ‘obsession’ to do things right away. some things yeah i can see. why that would happen. but for some other things i’m like.........i don’t relate to that. that’s just not me. or my way. i feel like people who do things ‘right away’ are being dramatic and overdramatising. and rushing. dear god please. slow the hell down. again. it depends. and if she doesn’t like. that i don’t do things right away. [again. if.]. then ya know what? that’s not my problem. again. i’ll get tissues at some point to clean such things up. w/. but untill then. this is how it’s going to be.
so um. i think that was maybe it. probably.
um right. so when someone shows you who they are. believe them. don’t disagree w/ them. no i hate when people do that. like if Person A says to their friend Person B ‘i’m so stupid for doing...........’ w/e it is. Personn A did. and then their friend goes ‘no you’re not’ well. that’s not really listening to the person. nor is it believing them. even if they don’t see that. like even if Person’s A friend. didn’t. see that...............just don’t do that. like i don’t do that. i’m like ‘i believe you’ and that’s it. yeah my psych. said that to me the other day regarding my use of describing myself as ‘broken’. her exact words were: ‘no. you’re not’. wow ok then. don’t believe me fine. [that’s not a personal challenge btw. and please don’t accept it as such.]. it’s fine if she doesn’t see that. or agree w/ that. but at least believe me. ya know? like i’m not making up the way i feel about myself.
which. has nothing to do w/ the whole. laundry thing it’s just something else that’s come up and has bothered me. is all.