P.R.F. Prosebox 8/29/2019 in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

Good morning, good afternoon, or good evening; you’re joining us here at P.R.F. Prosebox this entry being put forth on what promises to be an unusual Thursday, August Twenty-Ninth, Two Thousand Nineteen.

You see, I have a trial set for this afternoon. Defense Counsel requested a continuance… the fifth such request in this trial. Being as it is the fifth such request, I filed a resistance. We’re going to trial because the Defendant will not accept a plea deal, let’s get this trial over with once and for all already. However, the judge has not ruled on either filing yet. And the trial is set to start at 1:00. Which creates an awkward issue. On one hand, I would not be surprised if Defense Counsel acted as though the continuance was granted. On the other hand, I am required to have my witnesses present as no continuance has been granted. So what I expect to happen this afternoon is for one side of the case to be present and the other side not to be present. Here’s where it gets “funny.” Traditionally in my experience, if Prosecutor does not have witness/victim/counsel/etc present at time of trial… Defendant wins on default. BUT if Defense does not have witness/victim/counsel/etc present at time of trial… Defendant gets a continuance. Because our system views The Government as an all-powerful bully with unlimited resources and the Defendant is considered to be an uninitiated unfortunate soul targeted by the government. Of course, that is all bunk. The Government exceedingly has more and more limited resources and the Court’s perspective entirely ignores the victim and damage of Defendant actions. So… more ways our system is “close but not quite” on bridging the divide between an “Okay System” and a truly “Great System”.

Well, that morning was crazy busy and long. Still more work to do. I’ll be back in a sec.

K. So… this week is mostly under control now. Still need to file on 3 cases this week, then do Depositions on Friday but that’s all for the two days. Of course, it is me, so I would also like to be prepared for next week. And that might take a little time. BUT “short” week. Monday is Labor Day, not in the office. Tuesday? I have Depositions in a Juvenile Sexual Assault Case and would very much prefer to take care of everything on Tuesday by proxy or on paper so that I can be there. I know it is selecting FOR emotional torture but somebody needs to be there for those girls. Then Wednesday? Wellll… that is going to be deeply going over Trial Prep. Because my Thursday? IS going to be trial. Can’t say confidently if that will spread into my Friday or not… but it will definitely take up all of my Thursday. So my next week is largely “Day off, Gut Wrenching Depositions, Prep Day, Jury Trial, Friday”.

I have too much in my head to say again. Hate when that happens. Because it means I have about a dozen things I’d like to write, like to say, like to express.... and likely, I’ll actually express all of maybe three or four? Baka!

(1) Water in the basement:
Many have asked about sump pumps and the like. Funny story. In Tiny Town, we didn’t use the basement AT ALL because of flooding and sump pump problems and other things like that. We’re not unaccustomed to the concerns of Iowa Ground Water and Sump Pumps and the like. That is why we actually passed on my first choice house when we were moving to IF. That bitch had 3 sump pumps and a spontaneous not-constant lake in the backyard. Yeah. Pass. The house we got had a finished basement, was up on a hill area, and the homeowners and real estate agent and 3rd Party Assessor all claimed that water in the basement wasn’t an issue. Even the next door neighbor who turned us on to the water problem had said that she’d never had water in her basement until the last rain storm. Not to mention that the Downstairs Guest Bedroom is the only one that was damp. Not the utility closet, not the under stair storage, not the hallway, not the living room area that takes up most of the basement… it’s just… a bit perplexing. It isn’t even most of the downstairs guest bedroom… just the area around the bed. Almost like a waterbed broke but the bed is certainly not a waterbed. We’re drying the area out now and hopefully we’ll be able to take care of the smell but… we’re certainly going to keep our eyes on it. I want to hire someone to look into it immediately as I suspect the HomeOwners knew about this problem and failed to disclose it… which means we have a short window of time in which to sue them for Failure to Disclose and get them to fix the damned problem. However, Wife wants to “take care of the issue and see if it happens again.” If it happens again at some point, then we’ll tear up the carpet and look to see if there is a crack in the foundation or see who we need to hire to fix these issues. Because I’m not even so much worried about “oh no, water in the basement!” I’m more worried about “Wait, there was a 16 year old boy LIVING in this room. Are you saying we can’t even use it for a guest room?!” That… plus the smell. Those are my areas of concern.

(2) Labor Day Hijinx:
On Friday, I go visit MBFITWW at his house. I’m there until Monday night. Traditionally, this kind of trip goes as follows
Friday: Hang out upstairs catching up on life and law careers and everything else until an awkward silence fills the entire room and we go downstairs to plan the weekend.
Saturday: Watching Anime all day until Toonami
Sunday: Watching Anime all day
Monday: Watching Anime and Grilling until I leave.
And there’s nothing wrong with that necessarily. But… I’m going to at least pitch something that I know he’s likely to decline.

How do I put this sensitively? I am not planning to cheat on my wife. But I would like to flex my flirty muscles… or if not flirty at least my “socially out in public” muscles. Those haven’t got much flexing since Law School! My what a difference. Law School had “going to the bar” nights and “heading to the movies” nights and “Pub Quiz” nights. Leave a metro area with a population of 975,454 to be in an area of less than 5,000 and the Social Opportunities sure seem to dry up!! So… I am going to propose to my friend that we hit up ONE of the bars/bar & grill places this week. He’s single, I’m rusty… we’re not “trolling for chicks” as much as we’re “observing the social dynamic of the town where he lives.” Then it’ll give me an opportunity to see him in that environment (because… honestly… I do want him to find a woman he’d be interested in. Because he does seem to want that in his life but at this point, I think he feels like he’s sat on the edge of the pool too long to jump in.) And maybe it can give me some insight onto myself, too. Because I treat everyone with respect, kindness, conviviality. I don’t know where the line is between that and flirting! Like… if I approach (or am approached) at the bar, I’m going to be chatty… kind… inquisitive… I’m going to ask you questions about your life and your interests, I’m going to be friendly and kind and give you my attention. Because… that’s who I am. How does/where does the follow up “Hey baby” portion come in? What is the difference between being a sweet, caring, attentive, friendly conversationalist and flirting? I have no idea.

Granted… I’d be willing to bet my Comic Book Collection on the fact that MBFITWW will absolutely and without pause reject, deny, and shoot down the suggestion.

(3) Obligatory “Can you believe this shit” statement about a world that is teetering back towards the Fascists and Nightmares. Trump? Have you seen his shit this week? Have you seen his shit this month? I just… sincerely… I cannot respect anyone who looks at that man and thinks “This man should be the President of the United States.” In fact, if you feel like that… I cannot respect you nor can I believe that you genuinely have any intelligence, sanity, or compassion. If you look at him and think “I’d rather him than any of the Democrats running”.... than perhaps you aren’t insane, cruel, or stupid… but I still can’t respect you. If you put any thought into it at all… almost anyone else would be better suited. But it isn’t just Trump. I think what Boris Johnson is trying to do in the UK is rightly being characterized by some as a Coup. “Nigel Farrage and I wanted to fuck out of the EU; so we’ll do it in the most destructive way imaginable if we must!” Go fuck yourself. Then of course, Bolsonaro burning the Amazon and saying “Everyone else fuck off! I don’t care that we’ve admitted that most of these fires are man-made, don’t interfere!” So… as I said to my Wife last night.... WW1 started in 1914… The Mexican-American war started in 1812.... The War of Spanish Succession was 1701-1714. Humans exist in repeated cycles that never stop. The return rise to Fascism 2015-2020. The question becomes… does the US, UK, Brazil, Italy, or any of the other (I think) half dozen or more countries that are going that way do something to stop it in 2020 or beyond?

(4) This isn’t new. It is… fairly old hat, I’d say. But I think sometimes it really is important for me to retread old topics saying old things to state that some things are true and haven’t changed. The truth is… when I think about it: I love my wife. I do. I very much love my wife. I am IN love with my wife. And I find her attractive. These are true statements. And that’s why things between us have been the way they are and have gone. Because as long as I pretend I don’t have needs or wants, the marriage as it currently is could be perfect. Honestly, sad as it is, if my Wife were okay with me having a mistress (and I were the type of person who could have a mistress) I think my marriage would be almost perfect. But she isn’t that kind of wife and I’m not that kind of man. I could not be having sex with someone that didn’t make me feel. Detached unconnected sex just… doesn’t sound appealing. Granted, I do actually WISH I could be the guy with no issue sport fucking. That… frankly does sound kind of cool. Fuck any woman you want, focus purely on the fun… sounds nice. But I’m not that guy. And that guy isn’t in me. At no point in my emotional or mental life could I have ever been that guy, really. So… sex for me is always going to be connected to feelings. Maybe not love, granted. But a feeling of closeness or togetherness or belonging or… feelings. Feelings will always be integral to sex for me. So I’ll never begrudge my Wife for being the kind of person who does NOT want her husband having a “side piece”. She knows me. But that’s how we circle back to where we are now, isn’t it? Because I do love my wife. I am in love with my wife. And I do find my Wife attractive. But I also have needs. A marriage needs to be about MUTUAL love… MUTUAL affection… MUTUAL appreciation. By embracing the fact that I have needs, like wanting to be told I’m loved and wanting to be fucked, that is what “puts my marriage in jeopardy” and… I’m becoming okay with that. That is kind of the process this entire Prosebox Experience has demonstrated. I want a life where my spouse says, “I love you.” I want a life where my spouse engages in intercourse. Those two desires aren’t going to be “overcome, silenced, or defeated” through how much I love my Wife. But I do love my Wife. So… it has been kind of a journey… kind of a long journey… to that point. Where I currently am.