health in I don't know....

Something, I feel, is wrong. I have to go to the doctor and I really don't want to. I have had a bruise/blood spot on my left middle finger for a couple of years now. It swells and isn't quite right. I have other issues. I have asked about them when I have gone before, but no credit was ever given to them or I have been dismissed with, "you aren't as young as you used to be". Nice.

Now, though, it's enough that I'm afraid the diagnosis might be rheumatoid arthritis. I hurt. A lot. Joint pain. A lot. I can't stand the thought of living the rest of my life in pain and gnarled up. I know I need to go. I will. I just need to wrap my mind around it a little more.