Blindness in Riverdale

Blinded

So last night I had this dream about being blind sort of. I was trying to open my eyes but everytime i tried it was only partially and it hurt me to do it.

I was in my old childhood home and my father was around. I kept trying to go to him for help but he kept running away from me ignoring me. Finally I got mad and to get his attention I started speaking in a different language but all he said was is that Dutch?

It was a scary dream because it felt so real and when I woke up I was expecting not to be able to open my eyes properly without them hurting.

Than another part of the dream was my brothers old girlfriend operating a plan to go to Mexico or something. I was nervous about her flying to plane. Eventually we sort of crashed and there were people with guns and stuff.

Later on me and my sister were fighting. It was kind of play fighting or something. But eventually I just wanted to stop but she would not stop so I tried to kill her for it all to stop. But even the most violent and worst things I would do wouldn't kill her. Eventually I probably semi realized it was a dream because I said this would kill someone or severely stop them and finally in the dream it did.

Than I went off to call my mom on this phone that was so hard to use and for some reason kept dialling wrong.

My mom finally came home from wherever she was and I helped her bring in some stuff while she asked where my sister was.

Weird dream anyways.

I am not going to go to art today it's extremely freezing out and takes so long to get there. Plus last time I went it was such negative energy. I suggested a theme for the next week and it was passive aggressively accepted and I just felt pissed that I am enthusiastic about it all and making decisions no one else wants to make but instead of suggesting their own they have to down mine. It's not really personal I know but it's hard not to be affected by other peoples moods for me. Especially when I am going there to feel better not worse.

So if it was warmer maybe I would've went. I'm prolly going to get my period and stuff soon anyways. I just need this day to myself to relax organize myself and to feel better about things.

I did something impulsive a few days ago and I feel weird about it. It was as if my deep down hidden desires and actions that I repress and keep down just came to the surface and didn't consult with me. It just happened so fast with not much thinking.

Anyways. I'm downloading the wedding singer too. I love that movie so cute.