Addendum in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

I’m not looking for praise or a pat on the back or anything but there seems to be a problem in this world that even I may be a victim of.

During my wedding vows, when I looked at my beautiful bride and stared into her eyes… I was saying “I” to her at that moment “d” to her as I could imagine her in 30 years and “o” to her as I could imagine her in 60 years. Because the “I do” wasn’t just to “the hot 31 year old in front of me” it was to the woman who lives in that body. Yeah, she was super hot as a teenager, and I didn’t know her then. She was hot in her 20s when I met her. She’s beautiful in her 30s. But the appearance isn’t spittingly identical decade to decade. Like I look at the picture below and think “You’ve got to take it into account. You may be marrying Rita Hayworth but eventually she may look like Paul McCartney. If you give up on your marriage for something like that, you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place.

Of course… this dedication to marriage may end up biting me in the ass as a divorce seems likely… looming in the near future.... but yeah. When I said “I do” I meant forever… and seeing what that has cost and where I am now… I don’t know how to feel about that.