either the beginning or the beginning of the end in Second 1st

As I see it the move went well. Sammy is now in a really nice built for college kids apartment. Each bedroom has it’s own bathroom and each bedroom door locks. They each have a key to the apartment and they all have separate mail boxes.

This morning will be the first morning since July last year that as soon as Rocky is up I can play music and be loud without checking to see if Sammy is here. .... 3 hrs later.... I’m still not playing music and I’m just generally quit… nothing has changed lol

I got distracted and the entry became unimportant … but it is. So.... I wanted to put a little laugh about being human in here. Sammy was momentarily distraught because his key wouldn’t work. Everyone else showed up about a half hour later and not all of the keys for the bedrooms worked and his remained locked. They got it sorted out all we got in all the stuff before 11. It was funny though because he was upset that his 1/2 hour earlier and 45 mins earlier than Addy/Adam was lost.... but the fact that the office made a couple mistakes is human.

I came home did a hotel dash.... still forgot a couple things but I noticed a broken TV and keyboard in the closet. I took him ALL the things including the super hard bread in the cupboard. It was dumb really but I did let him know that the TV and keyboard are his junk. He said he was going to come by Tuesday and clean up.... I don’t expect him to. Hopefully I’ll have it cleaned by then.... and will just give him what’s left when he comes by.

Had a real conversation with Rocky yesterday. I explained that I see him in a different light, because of his brother, than I had before. Sammy has not been a wedge but a flashlight. “When I first met you, you were buying a house so your mother would have a roof. I know and have known for a long time that that was mostly because of guilt. That’s how your mom does things. I honestly thought it was also out of compassion. In these last few months as Sammy has gotten more and more comfortable with the fact that he was going to leave and seeming to push more and more buttons I watched a change. I think it was really there the whole time but there was no way to see it. The amount of guilt she put on you must have been extremely excessive because I have watched a heart I thought was the size of a BIG MAC turn out to be more the size of a Krystal’s burger. I know it’s not really like that. I know it’s better than that. I mean you give money to random homeless. It can’t be that bad but it is for sure not what I was looking for. Between this and not feeling the need to actually do anything around the house. Well, this is why we don’t have sex a whole lot. I need a man, seriously. Things will change now that Sammy has moved. I’m going to do what I can to get back to where we are okay but right now We are not okay.”

” I just don’t have compassion for my family. They use and take advantage. I can see now why Micheal (his older brother who doesn’t talk to his family at all now since NaNa passed) doesn’t talk to her. I do wish he could know I’m not like her. I was raised to be used. I was not raised to leave the nest like you were. I would likely find it easier to have a complete stranger live here than anyone in my family. Your family is welcome because I know they would not act the same way. I understand what you are saying and i will work on it”

In later conversation he said I have till Thursday to finish the diamond painting I’m currently working on. he thinks he’s going to help clean the house Thursday.... this means my real deadline is tonight.... so I can start cleaning without him because if not we will be bumping heads. I just need him out of my way really.... and after that to clean up after himself.