P.R.F. Prosebox 8/12/2019 in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

Good morning, good afternoon, or good evening; you’re joining us here at P.R.F. Prosebox this entry being put forth on Monday, August Twelfth, Two Thousand Nineteen. As anticipated, that feeling of depression stalking me last night is made worse by my arrival at work. First sixty seconds of the work week?
(1) That guy that got drunk and beat up his girlfriend? The one that violated the No Contact Order two weeks ago, and then again the week after? He violated the no contact order again over the weekend!
(2) That psychotic that attacked her boyfriend and then demanded the No Contact Order be maintained because she never wanted to see him again? She violated the no contact order.
(3) Problem with a Domestic Violence Case coming down the way. Abuser beat the ever loving fuck out of this woman, but she’s The Town Meth Addict so her statements never make sense anyway. May be difficult using her as a witness.
(4) Kid who was convicted of killing someone and then fleeing the scene? Well, for the THIRD TIME since he was sentenced, he’s violated probation. Yeah. Unpack that mess. Kid killed someone then ran away. Sentenced to 5 years; but he was able to pay the courts cash to not have to do that jail time. Since paying the courts in 2018, he has now violated probation by using Meth and Oxy three times. And yet still… not being sent to prison. Which, if we’re honest, wouldn’t be that much of an issue for him anyway since a 5 year prison stint really only means 2 years. Yup. Welcome to Iowa Justice. KILL SOMEONE and get probation that allows you to stay a drug addict.

And all of that? Legitimately, first 60 seconds of work. Honestly, with work and social going the way it is? Only my wish to try to lose some weight, if possible, is what keeps me steady to my “alcohol on weekends only” rule. Not that I have much hope in losing weight. I do genuinely blame my medication and at this point, I think that’s fair. When my pain was all-consuming, I was lighter because my metabolism was in High Gear. Slow the pain, allocate bio-chemical resources to different places, re-arrange a man’s insides… yeah. Maybe the fact that I haven’t been able to consistently stay below 220 in the last 10 years means something? Even still, I’ll probably look into getting a trainer or starting Noom or something. I miss looking like me and I’m not ready to accept a “new normal” if I don’t absolutely have to.

Shifting focus for a moment, my Wife is nervous about today because she’s feeling overwhelmed at her to-do list. She needs to make 4 phone calls. That’s it. That’s her entire to-do list. Now, before I go off on her about feeling overwhelmed at 4 phone calls, some of them are heavier than others and I understand her trepidation.
(1) FAFSA Info Finder. My Wife has never borrowed money before. I borrowed for Law School. We borrowed for our Mortgage. But this is the first time she’s borrowed and she’s freaking a little. $2,000, to me, seems like such a minimal piffle of an amount… but my Wife is hardwired to worry about money in a way that my privilege prevents me from embracing.
(2) Genetic Testing Doctor. I know she’s freaked out about this more than she lets on about. The way we’d handle this in my family? Be certain of the worst outcome, prepare for the worst outcome, and if it goes well… be overjoyed and celebrate. The way she handles it? Worry, obsess over the uncertainty, feel every which way, and over think what any of it means. We’ve discussed the options. She doesn’t want a double mastectomy (of course) but for her own aesthetic reasons. She says that she’s already “very upset” that her belly sticks out more than her boobs, so she doesn’t want to remove her boobs and just be a belly. She brought up the idea of getting breast implants after a double mastectomy because she wanted to know if I’d judge her for it. I told her that we take things as they come, and if she has to get the double mastectomy and decides that she wants breast implants, then I wouldn’t be upset or judge her negatively provided she did her homework on Safety and Health Risks of breast implants. The phone call she needs to make today is to schedule the Genetic Testing.
(3) Plumber. This one should actually be easy. Our bathroom sinks need to be replaced due to a persistent leak, and our replacement sinks came in on Friday. We just need to schedule the plumber to come out and help us switch everything around and then back on.
(4) The Vet. Unfortunately, Nala has been… giving us cause for concern. When she sleeps heavy, she pees in her sleep. But it doesn’t smell like pee and she doesn’t wake up from it. This has now happened 3 times that we know about and 4 times that we suspect. Plus, we have generic concerns about the dog as well. She has no sense of self-preservation or injury avoidance. She’ll jump as high as she can to try to reach something and then take no precautions to land on her feet. It’s gotten so she’ll jump, land hard on her side, and yelp at the pain… but it doesn’t stop her from doing it. So… is she (a) all right from those landings; (b) mentally challenged in some way? Plus, she’s still eating everything but her food. Is her eating the yard and her poop evidence of a nutritional imbalance, a behavioral abnormality suggesting anxiety, or basic puppy behavior? These are some of the things we’d like to talk to the vet about.











My brother and I used to have a running debate on the ethics and morality of The Trix Rabbit versus Wile E. Coyote. My brother contended that the Trix Rabbit was an annoying obsessive harassing children trying to take their food. In other words, the Trix Rabbit was like an aggressive homeless person harassing passersby for food. Meanwhile, my brother advanced, the Coyote was merely an animal following his predator/prey drive attempting to stalk his prey and eat, like any animal would do. In contrast, my views were different. I viewed the morality of the Trix Rabbit as being intimately connected with whether the children had ever given him Trix Cereal before. Because if he had never HAD Trix Cereal… my sympathies go out to him and I am entirely on his side. Imagine it from his perspective. HIS image is being used to sell this product to children all around the world. His very appearance is tied to “Buy this cereal.” He has every right to want to try the cereal that his identity has been co-opted for. And these little children are running around eating that cereal and all he’s asking for is to taste some. Conversely, if he’s been given some cereal by these children before, the ethics of the situation become more cloudy. Is he an addict that the children are trying to protect? Is he without funds to buy the cereal, and then harassing the children in an effort to get free food? If so, are these children just inundated with Trix Cereal and are capable of giving him some but choose not to? The questions that are required for proper understanding and judgment are vast. However, as to the Coyote… a character I genuinely respect… he isn’t simply “following his instincts.” This is a Genius Level Character. Arguably one of the most academically intelligent creatures in the Looney Tunes Universe. He’s even mastered talking which, in a cartoon that is typically devoid of human speech, is an impressive feat. Not to mention he has either the funds or the intellectual wherewithal to constantly employ various Acme Gadgets. Arguably, the Coyote could order/manipulate/purchase almost any food he wants if the Roadrunner Chase is exclusively about food acquirement. No, no. This is something much deeper. Wile E. Coyote is essentially The Riddler. He realizes that he’s smart, smarter than most. But his enemy still beats him consistently. Whether by cheating or by sheer physical ability (speed); the Roadrunner constantly defeats Wile E. Coyote’s sizable intellect. THIS is the obsessive. This is the creature who stays up at night thinking of all the ways that he might successfully ensnare his opponent! Which isn’t to say anything bad necessarily about the Coyote. Everyone should have something that drives them and I am certainly not going to belittle or bad mouth a Riddler. Do as thou wilt to prove what thou can.
###Image not created by me

I don’t know. I’m starting to wonder if the “Millennial Malaise” is catching up to me. Frankly, I don’t know if that’s really a thing but the way I understand it (if it is a thing) is that we’re just starting to see all the ways in which the World is garbage. Like… after WWII, there was this MASSIVE victory over evil and moderately financially stable white people were thrilled to have done something positive for the world and… I think that’s why they revere the 1950s so much. Provided they don’t have to contemplate the minorities that were screwed (blacks, hispanics, asians, women, the poor), the 1950s was The Decade of Optimism because America had beat the Nazis, had split the atom, and still had confidence in their government. NOW that’s one perspective. There’s also the other. That the 1950s was a Decade of Fear because America was involved in the Cold War with an enemy that had nuclear weapons; women were still bordering on chattel territory (at least in regards to Credit, Banking, Property Ownership, and the ability to get divorced)… not to mention the fact that the 1940s had seen Japanese Internment which led to people being dispossessed of their homes and businesses with NO legal remedy to be reimbursed or have their homes and businesses returned to them… not to mention the Jim Crow Laws, Racism, and Abusive Segregation… and for Hispanics… I mean, the decade ended with the Cuban Revolution! So… that’s the issue. For some, the 1950s was The Decade of Optimism. For others, The Decade of Fear. And now? Bringing it back to that Millennial Malaise? The Fear expanded, the Optimism decreased. America has been engaged in conflicts in the middle east for a persistent 2 decades. The majority of scientific achievements are either Climate Change studies screaming WHY AREN’T YOU DOING ANYTHING?! or Medical Breakthroughs that come with the added caveat “This miracle cure will cost Americans $75,000 per pill and we’ll sell the same thing in other countries for 10 dollars a bottle!” And as far as confidence in our government? Do you even have to ask? The conservatives are behaving as though every democrat in the country wants to become the Socialist Communist Republic of Venezuela; meanwhile the conservatives themselves are so busy selling themselves out to kowtow to the Orange Racist Douchebag that they don’t even have a single principle left unsullied. And as for fear? Well, just moving past the actual armed conflicts we’re engaged in; we’re still at a Cold War stance but now with most of Asia in that we need to be Cyber-petrified of Russia, Nuclear-Concerned for North Korea, and Trade-Imploding Afraid of China. Women and Minorities are finding their voices and resisting; but finding that their opponents are emboldened by the current Conservative Movement and therefore we’re seeing more and more and more violent White Supremacists world wide and I don’t just mean Mass Shootings. We’ve got reports in the last few days of White Supremacists and White Nationalist Activists being stopped/investigated/prevented from committing violent crimes all over. Not to mention a United States Government that is actively trying to suppress the vote while doing nothing about the Cyber Threats to the 2020 election that our own intelligence communities have warned us about. So, that’s the global/national of it. Then add in the local… the fact that I can’t hide myself in my work or my social life to protect me from the Macro Horror? I guess… is it any wonder why I’d be succumbing to a Millennial Malaise of “The World is a Garbage Dump”? And I’m even one of the LUCKY ones that doesn’t have College Debt, owns a home, and has a good job! Imagine how much more crushingly awful this would all be if I was up to my eyeballs in debt, couch surfing, and looking for work? Yeah. I have sympathy for Millennials and don’t blame them for their depression or outrage!

How appropriate. After that little outburst of mine, I go to a Comedy Site to try to find humor or temporary joy and: 5 Dumb Things the Mega-Rich Blew Their Fortunes On
(5) Warren Buffett’s Son Is Spending Millions Pretending To Be A Border Guard
(4) A Russian Billionaire Founded A Fake Space Nation
(3) Karl Lagerfeld Left A Portion Of His Giant Estate To His Cat
(2) A Crypto Millionaire Bought 100 Square Miles Of Nevada To Build A Community “Based On Blockchain”
(1) Robert Mercer Spent $1.4 Million On A Giant Urine Stockpile

Now… imagine what YOU’D buy if you had access to billions of dollars. Right?! Fuckin’… world. There are people working 4 jobs, trying to raise kids, and doing without medical care in the same world where people are pissing money away. Garbage. Dump.