Let's see who you really are ^reveals hood^ in Stuff

So, at least I’ve finally caught out the Dylan/Blake same-person debunk. “Dylan” posted a pic of him hiking on Snapchat and I asked where he was, and he said the Blue Mountains. A few days later, I saw a Facebook post from Blake… also in the Blue Mountains. I mean, you know I suspected, but that took way too long to get confirmation. I’m gullible and tend to believe people when they tell me things. I’m not silly enough to fall for satire news articles though.
He was with some guy in the photos, which might explain why he’s been so much less flirty with me, but I’m unsure if I should be as annoyed with him as I am for giving me a fake name. Do I keep calling him Dylan? Or is Blake actually been the fake-name all this time? :O I suppose it doesn’t matter if I don’t see him again.

I was actually chatting with some realllly attractive guys on Grindr this morning. One was wanting to come over last night but I wasn’t in the mood, and this morning tried me again when I was, except he flaked on me at the last minute. Then another guy flaked as well. I didn’t mind though. I’m old enough now to know that’s just how a lot of guys are, especially on Grindr. Also, given how attractive they were, they could’ve been fake profiles anyway. Like I said, once again - me - gullible - thinking people actually are who they say they are.

I’ve only got to work tomorrow, Friday and Sunday this week. Saturday I’m picking up the hire-car to go out to Pittsworth (aka country-Queensland, where I’m from, aka - the middle of nowhere) for my grandma’s 90th birthday party. I can’t believe the old bat is still hanging on, but good on her. And she’s so healthy too, other than a few silly falls where she’s been injuring herself over the past year. Otherwise, she has complete cognitive function and she’s totally all there. She has a walker these days, but still drives. She may even make 100 one day, my dad (her son) has always said.
Anyway, so it’ll be a family affair where I get to see family members I only ever see at these events. Some, I used to hang out with quite often growing up, so it’s interesting seeing everyone and making small-talk with them all as we’ve all gone different directions with marriages, kids, cities etc. Everyone’s still in the QLD/Northern-NSW region so family never really strays too far, unless you’re my little brother who is up in Mt Isa, but even that’s still my state. We’re just a huge state - it’s a few day’s drive, but I’ve yet to go there. I just don’t have that kind of relationship with my siblings where I can just pop in and say hi. We’re a very estranged family and only come together at family events that mum usually organizes.
I may have to deal with certain cousins who have always had an issue with me being gay because they are brainwashed by religion, but I can handle them. In fact, I just won’t put up with them.

Tonight, I had an argument with this guy on Tinder who for some reason matched with me and then decided to message me. He had an issue with me stating I’m a ‘non-vegan’ on my profile. My profile’s not even all that serious, as I barely ever use Tinder. It even says I’m hopeless at dating and I’m not even sure why the hell I’m on the app, but you know me - networking etc - I just never know. Anyway, so this guy and I were getting quite heated. He thought I was “attacking minorities” and that was rich “coming from a gay man” and blew the whole thing out of proportion. I was like, ‘Dude, all I mean is that I eat meat, I don’t give a damn if you’re vegan” but he kept going on and on saying that I should use the term ‘omnivore’ rather than ‘non-vegan’. I said I preferred guys to not need a thesaurus reading a damn profile blurb. I was like, “Well clearly I won’t be taking you out to dinner!”
Then he was going on about me getting defensive and blah blah blah. Geesh, no wonder vegans get a bad reputation haha. Worse than cross-fitters.
Anyway, the conversation did settle down a little bit when I asked him if he’d believe me if I told him my best friend was a vegan, but then it eventually died. Thank God. i have better things to do. Well, no, not really. I just find arguing with people I haven’t even met so stupid.

I decided to message Jacobe last night on Facebook messenger. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go, since we haven’t conversed in a few years now. He’s the Aboriginal guy that my housemate Jeff had hooked up with previous to him hooking up with me, so he’d been in the same house twice. He was always such a lovely guy though and I always found him very attractive. Anyway, he posts a lot of stuff about depression and hope and he’s been through a lot in his past, so I thought I’d message to check in on him. Turns out he’s still a complete sweetheart, calling me “cutie” and that we should hang out soon. I do worry about him and I worry that he may do something stupid one day. I really hope not. James gave no clues whatsoever that he was going to kill himself, so that was a complete shock to me when I found out two months after he did so last year. The fact that Jacobe willingly shows he gets depressed might be a good thing and I hope he has some support. I do hope we can hang out and catch up soon. I just don’t want another James situation. I know Jacobe is strong though. Some of his stuff is just very deep.
And it reminds me of me this time last year. August 2018, anyone remember that? Well, the entries I wrote then coming up in the sidebar sure as hell reminded me. Man I was in SUCH a dark place then, the darkest I’ve been. So now that it’s August again, of course I can’t help but think back on it. I still remember that horse at the EKKA coming up to me and nudging me. It’s like it KNEW I was upset. I will never forget that moment. That one horse gave me hope. I wonder if he/she will be there again this year. I doubt it haha.

So yeah anyway, I booked a discounted ticket to the EKKA next week. I wasn’t going to go, but hey, I am from the country and it’s the only time the country comes to the city, so I’ve decided to make a day of it. Or rather, I have the option to go on either the Tuesday (whole day off), Thursday (I finish work at 12pm so could go after) or on Sunday (closing day where I finish at 4:30pm). I’m thinking I might even make a whole day of it on Tuesday even though I know I’ll be very over it, but I always miss seeing the cats because they only have them there for the first few days of every EKKA, so I need to see them early and early in the day too. They even have an app this year so I can plan my day, but it’s hardly perfect. At least I can see what’s there.

And I booked tickets to the Madonna night next weekend, which I hope Steve will come to, since I bought his ticket as well. That might be something a bit different and I can actually talk to someone all night.

Last updated August 07, 2019